Kat. Heel. Well.

We're gonna bring you the power

2009-01-13T00:24:00.002-06:00

1) I was so excited to hear they were bringing back The Electric Company!
2) ...but no Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno? BLASPHEMERS!
3) I hate the new theme song/graphics.
4) ...but I have to admit I love this song, and was pissed we do not get more of it here. Tell me more about Larry!!!

I'm all Natalie Imbruglia over it. What can I say, people?

The Dreamers and Me (Dreaming is Free)

2009-01-09T15:56:00.000-06:00

I simply LOVE that this exists...

Another auld lang syne

2009-01-05T16:01:00.000-06:00

Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme

2009-01-05T15:19:00.003-06:00

I am totally in love with the EarthLust water bottles -- have been stalking their website for months. My current lust is the 20oz stainless steel Parsley print bottle (left). I want it so bad it hurts!!

Several websites have been giving away EarthLust bottles, but I have not been lucky enough to win, yet. Am hoping this is my chance -- go visit Tenille at Feisty, Frugal & Fabulous for a chance to win.

Oh, and PS: How can you not love a site run by a woman named Tenille? :)

Pictures of you

2009-01-05T03:14:00.001-06:00

This is The Meme...

The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

There’s a group you can add it to, called ‘The meme’.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

1. Wildthings: A Look at the Human/Animal Relationship by Kathe Umlauf, 2. Kitfo Feast, 3. Patrick Henry, 4. 95 • 365 :: Life is like an orange..., 5. Crocheted David Tennant, 6. Saturday Night Special, 7. Budapest Sunset, 8. Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream, 9. Happy Birthday Flickr Account, 10. Balkan Holidays Airlines A320, LZ-BHE, 11. Sassy Topaz - Bright blues, 12. MC Gord in the Hizzouse

Burn it to the wick

2009-01-01T15:39:00.000-06:00

Welcome to 2009, mofos. Hope it rocks for all of us!

I'm under your spell

2008-12-03T12:40:00.003-06:00

Was just corresponding with an online friend recently about the lack of BUFFY in the world. Then a couple of nights ago I dreamed they were making a BUFFY movie (following up from the show, using the TV cast). And then yesterday I find this gorgeous mug online in a giveaway:

Seemed so reminiscent of the various summonings in BUFFY (her mom, herself, etc) that I *had* to enter. Youo should too -- go check out Super Coupon Girl's site to enter!

You make bathtime lots of fun

2008-11-25T10:07:00.002-06:00

So I have spent the morning on Bath, Body and Candle -- an awesome blog I stumbled on today, which aside from linking to lots of cool artisans, is all about the giveaways! Beauty products and free stuff? I'm a whore for it. Go check it out. :)

Your dreams were your ticket out

2008-11-25T10:06:00.002-06:00

So I guess it's safe now to take down the Blog365 banner, huh?

Who you gonna call?

2008-07-19T14:13:00.001-05:00

more cat pictures

Why she had to go, I don't know

2008-07-19T13:49:00.002-05:00

www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-ap-il-funeralhomeswitch,0,802996.story

Grandmother's body switched at Ill. funeral home

Associated Press

12:23 PM CDT, July 16, 2008

STICKNEY, Ill.

A family from suburban Chicago arrived at a funeral home to view their 91-year-old grandmother's body but found another woman's body in the casket instead.

The family of Lillian Grogan says the stranger was wearing their grandmother's dress and favorite bracelet at Mount Auburn Funeral Home in Stickney on Monday. They say the funeral home incorrectly tagged Grogan and another woman's bodies.

Grogan was mistakenly buried. Her family got a court order to have her body exhumed Tuesday so she could be reburied. The other woman's identity wasn't available.

Granddaughter Michele Grogan of Burbank calls the mix-up "the worst day of all of our lives."

Service Corporation International owns the funeral home, and a spokeswoman says the company is working to resolving the issue to both families' satisfaction.

At least you won't have time to be bored

2008-07-18T19:41:00.002-05:00

This song seems the most appropriate to leave 1983 on. Midnight Oil is still a favorite, assuming I never have to hear "Beds are Burning" again. This and "US Forces" make me so very happy -- odd for such a political group. It delights me that Peter Garrett is now a politician in Australia, and that back in the day he looked so much like Michael Berryman. This is one of Raisinette's faves as well -- in fact "It's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees" was her senior quote in our HS yearbook. Nerds. :)

Second stage is cut

2008-07-17T20:37:00.000-05:00

1983's 'sequel' to Bowie's "Space Oddity"

Why do I find it hard

2008-07-16T21:04:00.002-05:00

This was the song that everyone wanted to slow dance to in 1983. My coup? Dancing to it with MK at the LDS church dance, despite being a heathen with lustful thoughts.

Though it could be that or more

2008-07-15T23:57:00.002-05:00

I still adore this song, though Mike Score's hairdo is welcome to remain in 1983...

A white cool cat with a trilby hat

2008-07-14T22:43:00.001-05:00

1983: When Andrew Ridgeley was the hot one...

Take five fingers and put them to your heart

2008-07-13T10:39:00.001-05:00

OMG, I can't believe I found this. I love Love LOVE this song. Oh 1983, secret lover...

Be careful where you touch

2008-07-12T15:32:00.001-05:00

I hate Mike Reno. Always did. Liked some of his music, so long as I didn't have to look at him. A bandanna does not a cool guy make, asshat. And he is an asshat, capital ass, capital hat.

So, for that reason alone, and my continued ire toward him, I bring you proof from the beyond (okay, from 1983) that Mike Reno was going to pork up eventually.

Catchy song, though.

I don't know why, anymore

2008-07-11T19:27:00.000-05:00

I survived the week, so this little 1983 cover ditty rocks sufficiently for a Friday.

There's no way this will die

2008-07-10T22:15:00.002-05:00

Not one of my favorite songs, but the video is... it's a cinematic masterpiece. Oh 1983, you and your runaway taxi-dancers.

Angry whore dancing begins at 3:21

I have no shame

2008-07-09T21:36:00.001-05:00

Always thought this was superior to "Everybody" and "Holiday" -- in 1983, this was our first exposure to Vadge.

So let's sink another drink

2008-07-08T16:13:00.001-05:00

No music video for you today, but here's a commercial from 1983... am going to my husband's company banquet, so no time to wax New Romantical. Will try not to get stupid at this event, but I'm not driving, so all bets are off.
(BTW, The title is from a 1981 song, but the album was re-released in 1983, so I am damn proud of myself. Suck it.)

On and on we laughed like kids

2008-07-07T21:07:00.001-05:00

More pop deliciousness from 1983 -- I used to think the lead singer was cute in sort of a Bay City Rollers sort of way.

I had planned on this only being a week-long series, but I am having way too much fun with this.

Swimming through apologies

2008-07-06T11:59:00.001-05:00

Self-same trip to Europe ("Yerp")... this song had just come out in San Diego before we left. Europe is tunnels everywhere. Not surprising, since Mountains + Roads = Tunnels.

Anywhoodlydoo, every time my friend Raisinette (her real name, sorta kinda) and I went through one of those tunnels, it became our fun little OCD tic to sing "Rrriding on the Metro-o-o" before we exited. Not sure what would happen to us if we didn't -- maybe Terri Nunn was going to come throttle us in our sleep? Nonetheless, circa 1983... enjoy.

We have to shout above the din of our Rice Krispies (TM)

2008-07-05T21:53:00.001-05:00

Just heard this on the radio a couple of days ago... still remember every single word. Yes, I would select it on "Don't Forget The Lyrics," thank you very much, Wayne Brady. This is also back when Sting was Dune-hot.

Bought this album at the Virgin Records store in July of 1983 -- actually, my friend bought it for me. I threw a temper tantrum and went back to the hotel. But I still have this album, 25 years and howevermany miles later.

I say, you say

2008-07-04T11:22:00.002-05:00

I had completely forgotten about this one... thanks, 1983! (And youtube)

But the story remains the same if you take a look

2008-07-03T22:58:00.001-05:00

More 1983 - this time with the ladies. Ish.

You're my aural stimulator

2008-07-02T19:09:00.002-05:00

...still more '83. Admittedly I like "Homosapien" better, but it 'taint from '83 now, izzit? Love that m2 misspelled his last name, too.

Gonna start a fire

2008-07-01T20:30:00.000-05:00

And while we're visiting 1983...

Days of speed and slow time mondays

2008-06-30T22:47:00.001-05:00

A pretty damn perfect song, circa '83. Enjoy.

It's so much friendlier with pooh

2008-06-29T21:09:00.000-05:00

more cat pictures

I'm not half the man I used to be

2008-06-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

Check out Pasta Queen here.

Sleep to dream

2008-06-27T14:10:00.003-05:00

So yesterday was a work related event, held at a venue related to a very important black female entrepreneur and talk show host. Can't go into particulars, but her name rhymes with Pope-bra.

Anyway, it was a big tented hoo-hah next to her studio, and it was Hotter. Than. Balls. I made the egregious error of drinking two glasses of chardonnay, and at about 8pm became non-functional due to the extreme heat, chronic smiling, and minimal alcohol. My husband and I drove around aimlessly looking for food, then went home, laid on the bed, and passed out til this morning. Bliss. Only weird part: I had a sex(-ish) dream about a co-worker, who then coincidentally was in the office today and I had to talk to him. Luckily by then the magic was gone.

A little too ironic

2008-06-26T19:01:00.000-05:00

The 'car title loan' shop down the street from my apartment closed down. Left in the dead of night.

Isn't it ironic?

2008-06-25T20:59:00.000-05:00

...that they did not have a Dos Equis shirt available in a 2X?

We'd hear it from the people of the town, they'd call us

2008-06-24T22:52:00.000-05:00

So on tonight's charter, Stila was there doing makeup demonstrations. Normally only the passengers get to do this, but there was a spare moment, so I got all tarted up. Literally. I looked like a Russian gypsy.

When I got home, I told BHE I'd been demonstrated on. He said "Oh, I was wondering why you looked so...." While he searched for a safe word-choice, I supplied "Whore-y?" His response? "I was going to say 'overly made-up' but 'whore-y' works."

Lesson? Do not let them do a makeup demonstration on you in low light.

Oh beautiful...

2008-06-23T19:08:00.002-05:00

RIP, George. Thanks for all the laughs. Thanks for dying of a heart attack so as to further prove to the world that you don't get sick since you were "steeped in raw sewage" as a child. Although it came out when I was two, the AM/FM album was the one I grew up listening to, and as such, I give you this:

What a great triple play

2008-06-22T19:52:00.002-05:00

Lucky me, one of my favorite movie musicals was on this morning...

Freedom run away

2008-06-21T14:07:00.000-05:00

Another one for my assistant, whom I introduced to Urinetown yesterday at work...

I see your true colors

2008-06-20T22:17:00.008-05:00

So I'm back on the box color, or should I say I fell back off the box color wagon? Feeling like my hair is ratty and too light and in need of a change, so bought two boxes of this fine product (color: cinnamon stick) at Ulta on the way home. Actually, BHE bought them for me, along with various other treats, both at Ulta and at Borders. So this weekend will be an experiment in terror, to see if this color will look half as hot on me (a fat, terminally-caucasian 38 year old) as on this 20-something latina. Stay tuned, America.

Cat scratch fever

2008-06-19T23:08:00.002-05:00

Oh my god, I so completely want a Savannah cat...

Or a Bengal...

Dancing barefoot

2008-06-18T20:47:00.001-05:00

She knows how to use them

2008-06-17T20:21:00.000-05:00

Rocket, I'm taking a rocket

2008-06-16T20:35:00.003-05:00

For my assistant, who today (when Tracy Morgan came up in conversation), said "On SNL, do you remember that one thing he used to do...?"

My response? "Astronaut Jones?"

By the way, that was indeed the right answer. :)

Burning out his fuse up here alone

2008-06-15T21:37:00.003-05:00

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hancock_(film)

Hancock had been reviewed by the Motion Picture Association of America twice and has both times received an R rating instead of the makers' preferred PG-13 rating to target broader audiences. Questionable elements for the MPAA included Smith's character drinking in front of a 17-year-old and the character flying under the influence of alcohol.

So, if you are an otherworldly omnipotent dude (or dudette) that can fly, and are under the age of 17, the MPAA just saved your ass from being exposed to the potentially harmful image of one of your peers flying under the influence. Ask your superhero mom or dad to take you to the film, and have a nice discussion with them afterward about the great responsibility that comes with great power. Oh, and don't do drugs, kids.

I heard it on my radio

2008-06-14T13:21:00.000-05:00

Oh, I love to eat it every day

2008-06-13T17:59:00.000-05:00

more cat pictures

All is well but not for me

2008-06-12T23:54:00.001-05:00

So an impromptu visit to Brazzaz tonight has led to some super-sexy food poisoning. I've been alternating between sleeping and pooping. Add crying, and I've officially been infantilized by Brazilians. Word.

Don't get caught with your pants down

2008-06-11T20:25:00.003-05:00

[Scene: An actual conversation I had at work today...]

HIM: What's the dress code for this one?

ME: Clothed.

H: You'd like them to wear clothes?

M: Preferably.

H: That might be a problem. You see, Ruben is allergic to pants.

M: Oooooh... Kilt?

H: He wears a grass skirt.

M: Can we get him a kilt?

H: I can ask...

M: Maybe something tasteful, in black, or perhaps a nice cocktail gown?

H: I'll talk to him.

Until Tuesday everything is Tuesday

2008-06-10T20:15:00.000-05:00

Celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music

2008-06-09T22:07:00.003-05:00

So, because of the recent salmonella scare, most local and many national restaurants are not serving tomatoes. And no one is more sad about that than I. Oh, wait... NOT sad! No one is more NOT sad. And a double negative is proof positive: I HATE TOMATOES.

Basically, right now it's like Xmas and Mardi Gras and my birthday all rolled into one. I can roam the streets naked, fearing not the gaze of a nearby tomato-y stare. Love love LOVE it. Yes, I will have those tacos! Sure, bring me that salad! A burger with the works? Don't mind if I do!

The sheer liberation involved in not having to special order items anymore? Of not having to ask "Does that have tomatoes on it?" It makes me giddy. Oh, I know one day the tomatoes will return... and they will bring reinforcements. But until that day? Oh until that day I will order with reckless abandon, knowing that I, at least for now, am safe.

Even when I'm with my Boo

2008-06-08T12:23:00.000-05:00

You're everything I wish I could be

2008-06-07T12:06:00.002-05:00

THRILLIST Nation

Friday Jun 6, 2008

You Are a Miserable Excuse For a Hero

The beauty of Choose Your Own Adventures is that any wrong decision can be fixed by flipping back a few pages -- but being for kids, their other life lessons all seem to involve magical dinosaurs. Jump into an age-appropriate story, with You Are a Miserable Excuse For a Hero!

Penned by comedian Bob Powers, Hero's variable-path narrative loyally apes the CYOA structure, but casts you as an angsty commitment-phobe who spends too much time in bars/under ex-girlfriends' sheets. After you get a call from guys who've kidnapped a girl you went on a single date with, you're faced with the horrifying possibility that things are getting serious too quickly. Deal with that, then encounter other everyman decisions like:

If you want to try to alleviate the guilt by going to Gambler's anonymous meetings, go to page 187
If you want to live with the guilt and drop out of your life and go sell candles and sh*t like that, go to page 50

If you want to climb onto the fire escape to knock on the old Italian abortionist's window, go to page 141
If you want to find out what life would have been like if you'd never been born, go to page 137

If you want to track down whoever made this recording, go to page 158
If you're curious what it's like to watch yourself masturbate and want to press play again, go to page 131

As you jump through chapters like "Be the Money Shot" and "Wedding Day at the Safe House", you'll encounter dead best friends, appear on the cover of People, and get tazed at an orgy en route to more than 30 endings -- some so horrifying, you'll wish you'd chosen to stick with magical dinosaurs.

Bela Lugosi's dead

2008-06-06T13:32:00.001-05:00

"Vampire" peacock beaten to death by man

A man attacked a peacock that was found wandering about a fast-food restaurant, according to the Associated Press.

A peacock, a few years old, wandered into the parking lot of a Burger King, located in the New York borough of Staten Island and made itself comfy on the hood of a car. Employees were feeding him bread when the irate man appeared, grabbed the Bird by its neck, and threw it to the ground. He proceeded to kick and stomp the bird, beating it so fiercely that most of its tail feathers fell out. The bird had to be euthanized, according to Richard Gentles, who is a spokesman for the city's Center for Animal Care and Control.

"It's just unbelievable that someone would do something to a poor, defenseless animal and do it in such a cruel fashion," he said.

Worker Felicia Finnegan, 19, stated that "He was going crazy." When he was asked why he was doing it, the man said, "I'm killing a vampire!"

Employees of the fast-food restaurant called the police, but when they arrived, the man ran. The attacker is in his teens or early 20's, and is being looked for by authorities.

No one knows how the bird got into the parking lot, but a resident of Staten Island who raises peacocks said that he had given some peacocks to someone who happened to live nearby the restaurant.

Happy, happy birthday baby

2008-06-05T09:25:00.000-05:00

BHE's 35th birthday today...we're celebrating with lobster and martinis and air conditioning. :)

They call me Fred

2008-06-04T21:38:00.000-05:00

Bye bye baby, baby bye-bye.

2008-06-03T23:19:00.004-05:00

Harvey Korman died this week, sadly. I loved how, on the reunion specials they did in recent years, it was divulged that the Carol Burnett Show cast and crew used to bet on how long into a scene it would take for Harvey to break, and specifically for Tim to break him. This one is approx 1:30...

Come and knock on my door...

2008-06-02T22:42:00.001-05:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7428955.stm

It's hard to be the diva

2008-06-01T18:11:00.001-05:00

Love is all you need

2008-05-31T23:31:00.000-05:00

So hilariously BHE hated the Julie Taymor flick Across the Universe. I loved it, he hated it -- wanted the two hours of his life back, the whole nine. He had me totally in stitches as he ranted about what pretentious self-important crap it was. Too funny. Ah well, at least we have love.

All you need is love

2008-05-30T23:06:00.000-05:00

What film will I be watching this weekend?

And in the end

2008-05-29T22:43:00.001-05:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panopticon

I got soul and I'm super bad

2008-05-28T23:14:00.000-05:00

Just saw Superbad for the first time... LMAO. And then, I discovered this:

How does it feel?

2008-05-27T20:21:00.003-05:00

I just discovered Nouvelle Vague... delightful. So far my favorites are "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" and Yaz' "Don't Go" -- however, in honor of the holiday yesterday, I give you "Blue Monday"

And I will sing a lullabye

2008-05-26T20:03:00.002-05:00

Success! I spent approx 50% of the Memorial Day weekend sleeping. Yay me!

I choose to say it this way because it sounds much more exciting and, well, planned than "My body was so exhausted that it gave out and forced me to sleep away major chunks of a long weekend with BHE -- I slept and he labored."

See? The "Yay" version is much more exciting. I think it will sell better in Peoria.

The chronic what?!

2008-05-25T14:17:00.002-05:00

What is the world coming to when I can't post a YouTube video of "Lazy Sunday" to my blog on a Sunday?! There's like 10,000 effing wingnuts on YouTube doing parodies of it, but no Samberg and Parnell. Sorry, fallen soldiers. No "Lazy Sunday" for you this Memorial Day weekend.

I'm free!

2008-05-24T16:11:00.000-05:00

From now on, all my free e-cards will be wrongcards. I heart them. Okay, maybe not to my in-laws, but everyone else? You betcha. :)

Oh the bed

2008-05-23T22:31:00.002-05:00

more cat pictures

So begins Memorial Day weekend. Am exhausted -- literally ate dinner and then fell asleep in my Archie Bunker chair until about 20 mins ago. Part of me wishes we were going away to a bed and breakfast somewhere, but the other part of me would be fully content to spend the long weekend in my own bed and eat nothing but Nilla Cakesters and Coke Zero for three days. Will keep you posted.

It's a little bit me, it's a little bit you too

2008-05-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

more cat pictures

Let's get physical

2008-05-22T20:08:00.006-05:00

So BHE went a little crazee, and bought Wii Fit, Wii Play, and Dance Dance Revolution today. There's about to be some major Wii-ing in my house this Memorial Day weekend. Our fallen soldiers would have wanted it that way.

All alone in the moonlight...

2008-05-21T19:18:00.002-05:00

Memory Meme

1. Who was your favorite relative and why?

Tough. Right at this moment, I would say my grandpa Carl. He was Guamanian, and about 5'4" and balding for as long as I can remember. He had a laugh that would light up a room, he was a chef that made the best pancakes and pie crust I've ever tasted, and when he ate jalapeños he'd sweat on the top of his little bald head.

2. What is the best and worst advice a friend ever gave you?

Best: That I shouldn't sweat the small stuff.
Worst: That I should go ahead and try to climb that tree to get onto the roof.

3. Where was your favorite place to when you were young? Least favorite?

Favorite was my grandmother's enclosed back porch -- a bungalow-sized room where I used to play house. Sometimes my cousin Michael and I would play "Grandma and Grandpa" -- he would put the white plastic tips from one of Carl's Muriel Corona cigars in his mouth, I would put one of my grandmother's Salem cigarette butts in mine, and then I would pretend to cook dinner, and then we would pretend to go to bed (all very clean). And then he'd get up and pretend to go to work.

Least favorite was shopping, whether clothes or grocery -- it was boring, and I got in trouble if I played in the racks or sang and danced to the muzak.

4. What lesson did you have to learn "the hard way"?

Still learning it: If you don't have cash, don't buy it.

5. What are the three best decisions you ever made?

a. To move to Chicago
b. To major in theatre
c. To not let BHE let me get away :)

6. Did you have a favorite age that you aspired to as a child, i.e. like a time you thought you'd be "grown up" or that life would be easier/clearer/independent?

Sixteen -- I thought that on the day I turned 16, I would get my driver's license and then immediately move out and into my own apartment. Duh. :)

7. What is the most important thing you've learned about relationships?

The golden rule ain't just a river in Egypt. Uh, wait...

8. How have your spiritual beliefs changed over time?

Not much, really. I have both more and less respect for extremists, and a basic lack of faith of my own. The alleged 'gawd-shaped hole in my heart' don'tcha know.

9. What is the first death you remember?

My great-uncle Forrest. I only remember that he died, and everyone went some place and was sad, and I was not allowed to go to the place. I was likely 5-6 years old.

10. What is the most memorable birthday gift you ever got?

A crown woven of spring onions and chives on my 25th birthday on the island of Saaremaa from my friend Erik. It wasn't the most expensive or beautiful gift I've ever gotten, but it is very memorable.

Southwest bound

2008-05-21T18:49:00.002-05:00

OMG, would you believe that today I won another pair of Southwest airline tickets? This makes pair #3 -- crazy balls! Where should I go, America? The answer is likely San Diego to visit mamacita, but who knows. TBD. :)

Food, glorious food

2008-05-20T23:07:00.000-05:00

Beers + long walk + big steak + lemon ricotta cheesecake = PASS OUT

It's the only way to live

2008-05-19T18:28:00.003-05:00

If they should bar wars...

2008-05-18T22:17:00.003-05:00

Watching Family Guy "Blue Harvest" for the first time right now. Hilarious. Reminded me that took these pix many moons ago.

Senses working overtime

2008-05-17T19:41:00.003-05:00

I have this thing about being at work when I don't have to. It's kind of funny, considering that when I was 16-18, there was nothing more acceptable than visiting your place of employment on your day off, finding out who's around, hanging out, waiting for people to finish their shifts, etc. Now, some 20 years later, the last thing on gawd's green earth I want to do on my day off is go anywhere near work.

Case in point: There is an excellent upscale seafood restaurant near work -- one for which I have $300 in gift certificates. BHE wanted to go there for dinner this weekend -- I vetoed. This seems to translate to people too: I spotted one of my co-workers at Target this afternoon, with her back to me, shopping for clothed. I walked on. It wasn't that I wanted to blow her off, or that I dislike her... I simply wanted to keep that separation. Today is one of two days that she doesn't have to see me, and that I don't have to see her. While I have no problem making plans to hang with a co-worker on my day off, running into them feels like going to work.

It probably has something to do with the fact that, during the summer, I can often be there 7 days a week. This year, more so than in years past, I am hanging onto the off-season vibe as long as I can, postponing the in-season stressors. Seeing co-workers randomly on my day off is too much like work, too much a reminder of being in-season. So, a little guiltily, I walked on by.

The handbag memoirs

2008-05-16T19:23:00.002-05:00

I admit it. I've been obsessed lately with handbags and makeup. Girly girly girl girl. Probably because I feel like I'm dressing like a frump these days -- spend some kiznash, slap a little lipstick on that pig, and away we go!

I have been on the inevitable quest for the perfect handbag, and as ever, falling slightly short. I need a bag that's work appropriate but sassy, dressy enough but casual enough, big enough to carry all my crap but not oppressively heavy, a decent number of pockets without being an organizer bag, able to be carried on an everyday basis. Basically, I want the handbag that Goldilocks carried.

I am not good about switching out bags to go with my outfit. It is just not a priority for me, and when I do engage in this behaviour I always manage to leave something crucial behind in the other bag. I am also married to a man who can be rather spontaneous, so leaving things behind (such as gift certs and coupons and loyalty cards) in order to carry a smaller bag will, like Murphy's Law, immediately trigger a sudden and irrepressible need in BHE to go to whatever store or restaurant for which I am not currently carrying the paraphernalia. Not being one that likes to be caught with my metaphorical pants down (or, frankly, my literal pants), this means carrying everything with me at all times.

Then there's the makeup. BHE has an aversion to me wearing lipstick or lipgloss, since he hates kissing goopy lips (can you blame him?), yet I have not less than six lip preparations in my handbag right now. I also have a full compliment of makeup in my handbag and in my desk drawer at work, in case of a necessary touch up -- 99.44% of the time I never use any of it, but there it still is. Also, if ever I was to be on TLC's What Not To Wear and had to bring that succubus Carmindy all my makeup... well, it would probably require me using a small carry-on suitcase. Think I need to do a little purging?

While I have hung onto this stuff for borderline-logical reasons ("But what if I ever need frosty blue eye shadow?!"), I am thisclose to throwing 90% of it out. But the problem is, having all this crap has saved my bacon on more than one occasion. When dyed my hair brown, it completely changed what colors of makeup I could get away with -- I just pulled out my stash, tried a bunch of things, and hid the colors (like MAC 'Twig' lipstick) that now made me look like death. So having the stash has come in really handy for me over the years, but makeup a) does not last forever, and b) has been reformulated enough over the years that the frosty blue shadow I have tucked away would not really be becoming now. Sure, I used to be an actress, and there was an argument to be made that I could use it for shows, but I have not done a fully-mounted play in eleven years, so it's time to let go.

And this is part of the logic that I use on myself as I order goodies via Sephora and whatnot. Need it! Got to have it! Free shipping! Let's face it... I need help. And a makeover.

I leave you now, so that I might browse Sephora.com again. Free samples with purchase!

And I feel fine

2008-05-15T22:13:00.002-05:00

Okay, maybe not fine, but here's a few of the amazing victories the last couple of days have brought us:

David Archuleta vs David Cook for the AI finale
"Plus-sized" model Whitney Cunningham wins ANTM
California overturns the gay-marriage ban
Lori Drew was indicted for her hand in causing the MySpace-driven suicide of teen Megan Meier

Sounds like the end of the world to me!

Feels like heaven

2008-05-14T20:46:00.001-05:00

Too much time on my hands

2008-05-13T19:05:00.001-05:00

I'm a tell ya how to cause an attack

2008-05-12T22:41:00.000-05:00

You listen, you teach me mama

2008-05-11T17:19:00.000-05:00

And bingo was his name-o

2008-05-10T22:35:00.003-05:00

Looking for some fun Mother's Day themed videos for tomorrow, and came across some fun non-mom stuff -- will either be inundating you with them over the next few days, or will save 'em up for when I have nothing to post of my own. In the meantime, I leave you with this:

Running on a treadmill after you

2008-05-09T19:11:00.000-05:00

He shouted out his last word

2008-05-08T20:50:00.002-05:00

Just a follow-up from last night/Tuesday: Bye bye, Jason Castro. Sometimes, justice is sweet.

Little, lost and innocent

2008-05-07T10:04:00.001-05:00

This is the kind of shit that I love -- "Oh, um, we can't find those files. Uh, yeah -- everything in the three months that overlap the invasion of Iraq is missing. Weird, huh?" And they wonder why Americans have a mistrust for our current administration.

___________________________________

www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-nat-bush-mailmay07,0,5324897.story

White House can't find '03 e-mail files

May 7, 2008

WASHINGTON — The Bush administration has not found disaster backup files for White House e-mails from a three-month period in 2003, according to court documents filed this week, raising the possibility that messages sent before and after the invasion of Iraq may be gone.

The White House chief information officer, Theresa Payton, said in a sworn declaration that the earliest recorded file was dated May 23 of that year.

Payton and other officials said that older e-mails could still be contained on other tapes because of the way the files are dated.

Crucial period: The United States launched the invasion of Iraq on March 20, 2003, and President George W. Bush declared the end of major combat operations on May 1.

In dischord and rhyme

2008-05-06T19:04:00.004-05:00

OMG, david cook is singing "Hungry Like the Wolf" - fine. A lits boring. Nice to see him doing up-tempo, though.

Syesha just sang "Proud Mary" - snore. Simon, as usual, is right.

Jason Castro consistently comes off as a pothead idiot, and this video clip is no exception. This version of "I Shot the Sheriff" is horrible. HORRIBLE. Randy is right, perhaps even being generous. Even Paula is having a hard time spinning this one. C'mon, Simon -- YES! Atrocious. He's completely pegged it as being a bad first round audition. And Jason has to cap it off with "Woo hoo! Bob Marley!"

Archuleta... of course he's singing "Stand By Me" since all he sings are songs that could be hymns in some Unitarian church. 90% of his songs are about god, or could be construed as being about god. He's doing what he does, and doing it well, but I'm bored by it.

"Baba O'effing-Riley"?!? Cook better knock this out of the park. Nice octave change. So far so good, not The Who, but fun. Shitty ending.

Syesha just compared her being in the Top 4 to the civil rights movement.

Jason Castro just proved his stupidity again... AND HE JUST BLEW HIS LYRICS. OMG! Vote him off this show!! If anyone else goes home and that douchebag stays, they should sue.

Archuleta is singing to god again... "You have made my life complete and I love you so."

Paula's extensions look lovely tonight.

Another suitcase in another hall

2008-05-05T18:36:00.002-05:00

This reminds me of one of the best "out of the mouth of babes" moments I've ever experienced. I was at the Sing-along Sound of Music, which starts off with a costume parade and contest. Lots of Marias and Capt Von Trapps. Lots of random nuns. Someone dressed in leiderhosen claimed to be an extra. Someone else was the Alps. A guy and two girls all dressed in black simply wore signs around their necks: His said "schnitzel" and each of theirs said "noodle."

The best, though, was a little boy in street clothes: Jeans, a tshirt, sneaks. He wore a backpack (possibly Thomas the Train themed?) and carried a matching suitcase. When the host (dressed as Mother Superior) asked him who he was, he matter-of-factly replied, "Maria." The crowd went wild, and "Maria" won. Hilariously, he won a copy of Forever Liesl by Charmaine Carr -- he set his suitcase down, unzipped it, put the book inside, zipped it back up, and then picked up his suitcase and left the stage. Brilliant. Best comedy bit EVER.

We are siamese, if you please

2008-05-04T19:54:00.001-05:00

Golden years

2008-05-03T20:30:00.002-05:00

Things that make me feel old:

My downstairs neighbors, who are loud and college-y and holler to each other on the stairs, and have people coming in and out of the bldg all hours of the night, and make calls to their drug dealer from the back porch on a cell phone.
There's a new reality show that's a model competition for women 35+ -- my initial reaction was "Oh, that's cool that they're finally doing something like that for older women." Then I remembered I am 38.
These kids today, with their bling bling and their internets and their marajuana cigarettes.

Highlights of the day:

Catching Scream and The Rock on tv today.
Laying in bed and chatting sleepily with BHE while the cats lazed with us.
Vietnamese food

Take five

2008-05-02T22:06:00.000-05:00

WHAT WERE YOU DOING TEN YEARS AGO?
Working at a company I loved, living in an apartment with exposed brick and a huge kitchen, and being celibate (not by choice).

SONGS TO WHICH YOU KNOW ALL THE LYRICS
1. Bohemian Rhapsody
2. Killer Queen
3. American Pie
4. Picasso Visita el Planeta de los Simios
5. Rapper's Delight

FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE A MILLIONAIRE
1. Pay off my debt & BHE's debt
2. Give $$ to mom
3. Buy a house in the city
4. Invest for retirement
5. Quit my job, go back to school (vet school? MSW?) and travel. Maybe the film festival circuit?

FIVE BAD HABITS
1. Procrastination
2. Sloth
3. Self-absorption
4. Talking on & on
5. Interrupting

FIVE THINGS YOU LIKE DOING
1. Road trips with BHE
2. Chicago International Film Festival
3. Reading fashion magazines
4. TV on DVD
5. Dinner with friends

FIVE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER WEAR AGAIN
1. The awesome red cords I had in the mid '80s
2. Jelly shoes
3. Pantyhose (if I can at all avoid it)
4. A tongue ring
5. My heart on my sleeve

FIVE FAVORITE TOYS
1. My laptop
2. My ipod
3. Makeup
4. Vicodin
5. Wikipedia on my blackberry

Killer in the home

2008-05-01T15:46:00.004-05:00

Finally... an update on this story. I still don't think it's severe enough, chargewise, but nonetheless...

Wis. parents who prayed as diabetic daughter died charged

By ROBERT IMRIE – 2 days ago

WESTON, Wis. (AP) — Two parents who prayed as their 11-year-old daughter died of untreated diabetes were charged Monday with second-degree reckless homicide.

Family and friends had urged Dale and Leilani Neumann to get help for their daughter, but the father considered the illness "a test of faith" and the mother never considered taking the girl to the doctor because she thought her daughter was under a "spiritual attack," the criminal complaint said.

"It is very surprising, shocking that she wasn't allowed medical intervention," Marathon County District Attorney Jill Falstad said. "Her death could have been prevented."

Madeline Neumann died March 23 — Easter Sunday — at her family's rural Weston home. Her parents were told the body would be taken to Madison for an autopsy the next day.

"They responded, 'You won't need to do that. She will be alive by then,'" the medical examiner wrote in a report.

An autopsy determined that Madeline died from undiagnosed diabetic ketoacidosis, which left her with too little insulin in her body. Court records said she likely had some symptoms of the disease for months.

The Neumanns each face up to 25 years in prison if convicted. The couple and their attorney did not immediately return messages left Monday by The Associated Press.

Falstad said the Neumanns have cooperated with investigators and are not under arrest. They have agreed to make an initial court appearance Wednesday, she said.

Randall Wormgoor, a friend of the Neumanns, told police that Dale Neumann led Bible studies at his business, Monkey Mo Coffee Shop, and believed physical illness was due to sin, curable by prayer and by asking for forgiveness from God, the complaint said.

Wormgoor said he and his wife, Althea, were at the Neumann home when Madeline — _ called Kara by her parents — died. Wormgoor said he had urged the father to seek medical help and was told the illness "was a test of faith for the Neumann family and asked the Wormgoors to join them in praying for Kara to get well," the complaint said.

Althea Wormgoor said she "implored" the parents to seek medical help for the girl, the complaint said.

Leilani Neumann, 40, told the AP previously she never expected her daughter to die. The family believes in the Bible, which says healing comes from God, but they have nothing against doctors, she said.

Dale Neumann, 46, a former police officer, has said he has friends who are doctors and started CPR "as soon as the breath of life left" his daughter's body.

According to court documents, Leilani Neumann said in a written statement to police that she never considered taking the girl, who was being home-schooled, to a doctor.

"We just thought it was a spiritual attack and we prayed for her. My husband Dale was crying and mentioned taking Kara to the doctor and I said, 'The Lord's going to heal her,' and we continued to pray," she wrote.

The father told investigators he noticed his daughter was weak and slower for about two weeks but he attributed it to symptoms of the girl reaching puberty, the complaint said.

A day before Madeline died, according to the criminal complaint, the father wrote an e-mail with the headline, "Help our daughter needs emergency prayer!!!!." It said his daughter was "very weak and pale at the moment with hardly any strength."

The girl's grandmother, Evalani Gordon, told police that she learned her granddaughter could not walk or talk on March 22 and advised Leilani Neumann to take the girl to a doctor.

Gordon eventually contacted a daughter-in-law in California who called police on a non-emergency line to report the girl was in a coma and needed medical help. An ambulance was dispatched shortly before some friends in the home called 911 to report the girl had stopped breathing, authorities said.

One relative told police that the girl's mother believed she "died because the devil is trying to stop Leilani from starting her own ministry," the complaint said.

The Neumanns said they moved to Weston, a suburb of Wausau in central Wisconsin, from California about two years ago to open the coffee shop and be closer to other relatives. The couple has three other children, ages 13 to 16; they are living with relatives.

The family does not belong to an organized religion or faith, Leilani Neumann has said.

Everest Metro Police Chief Dan Vergin said the parents once belonged to the Lighthouse Pentecostal Church but later became what he called religious "isolationists" involved in a prayer group of five people.

"They have gone out on their own," he said. "... They have a very narrow view of Scripture and I would say not many people hold to that narrow of view."

In March, an Oregon couple who belong to a church that preaches against medical care and believes in treating illness with prayer were charged with manslaughter and criminal mistreatment in the death of their 15-month-old daughter. The toddler died March 2 of bronchial pneumonia and a blood infection that could have been treated with antibiotics, the state medical examiner's office said.

I've been waiting so long

2008-04-30T22:26:00.001-05:00

"Rock & roll don't come from your brain, it comes from your crotch."

Ain't no big surprise

2008-04-29T17:44:00.004-05:00

...that I am giddy with excitement that this week is Neil Diamond Week on AI. Delightful. I only hope that these dear dear contestants don't eff up what I consider to be one of my biggest guilty pleasures: The magic that is Neil Diamond. I am guessing Cook will rock it just fine, but the others make me nervous -- I am not sure they have enough Neil in them.

And speaking of Neil, I am currently rewatching the equally delightful Freaks and Geeks on DVD, and just watched this episode:

Okay, that's Bill (aka Jamie Sommers) and not Neil, but the segue still counts, damn it.

A thousand kisses deep

2008-04-28T13:39:00.000-05:00

via washingtonpost.com

Lip Balms and Glosses May Boost Skin Cancer Risks

Saturday, April 26, 2008; 12:00 AM

SATURDAY, April 26 (HealthDay News) -- Shiny lip balms and glosses may attract ultraviolet rays and increase the risk of skin cancer, warns a dermatologist at Baylor University Medical Center at Dallas.

Dr. Christine Brown noted that protecting your lips from harmful sun rays is as important as using sunscreen to protect your skin. But a recent study found that less than 25 percent of Americans use some form of lip protection.

Lips are more susceptible than skin to aging from chronic sun damage and also more prone to developing serious cancers.

"When skin cancer occurs on the lower lip, it has the potential to be much more aggressive and metastasize to surrounding lymph nodes," Brown said in a prepared statement.

Shiny balms and glosses don't offer protection. Instead, they attract the sun's rays to the lips.

"What most people don't realize is they're actually increasing light penetration through the lip surface by applying something clear and shiny to them," Brown said.

Women should only wear glossy lipsticks in the sun when they have a layer of sun protection on underneath, dermatologists advise.

Anyone who's planning on being outdoors for more than 20 minutes at a time should use a lip sun block with an SPF of 30. Women should apply it in the morning under any lipsticks or lip glosses and then reapply the sun block throughout the day.

People should check their lips for signs of cancer. Consult a dermatologist if you notice any changes to the color of the lip surface (an area turns opaque or white), or if you have persistent peeling or flaking of a spot on your lip, Brown said.

More information

The U.S. National Cancer Institute has more about lip and oral cancer.

SOURCE: Baylor Health Care System, news release, April 2008

Bela Lugosi's dead

2008-04-27T18:13:00.001-05:00

You Could Be a Vampire... If You Had To

Like most people, the thought of being a vampire has crossed your mind. But you're not sure if you'd do it, even if you could.

Living forever doesn't sound half bad, if you could live forever with the people you love the most.

But do vampires even love? And would the vampire version of you even be you?

It's all too much to contemplate. Luckily, the chances of you ever becoming a vampire are astronomically low.

What you would like best about being a vampire: Living forever

What you would like least about being a vampire: Blood stained teeth

Could You Be a Vampire?

Feet up, pat 'em on the po-po

2008-04-26T19:13:00.003-05:00

Talk about full service -- how effing disturbing is this?!?

______________________

www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-podiatrist-sex-assault-web-apr22,0,7284088.story

Olympia Fields podiatrist found guilty of sex assault

By Robert Mitchum

Tribune reporter

11:39 AM CDT, April 21, 2008

South suburban podiatrist Anthony Overton was found guilty Monday of two counts of aggravated criminal sexual assault by Circuit Judge Michael P. Toomin following a bench trial.

He will receive at least 12 years in prison and possibly as many as 60.

Overton, 64, of Olympia Fields was on trial in Cook County Criminal Court for allegedly fondling an elderly woman and giving her a vaginal and rectal examination.

Prosecutors had argued that Overton was not acting within reasonable medical standards when he administered breast and vaginal exams on a patient seeking treatment for foot pain. The woman, who was 75 at the time, had sought treatment for a sprained ankle in 2006.

Overton explained that he frequently gave full-body physicals to patients to diagnose other problems that might affect their feet. He said it sometimes is necessary to conduct breast, vaginal and rectal exams to check for other ailments.

Three little words

2008-04-25T21:42:00.002-05:00

Three Things That Scare Me:

1. dying alone
2. random violence
3. Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:

1. BHE
2. BHE (he's a Gemini)
3. Patton Oswalt

Three Things I Love:

1. TV on DVD -- love to power through seasons at a time
2. Freerice.com
3. my felines

Three Things I Hate/Severely Dislike:

1. tomatoes
2. being lied to
3. the unexamined life

Three Things I Don’t Understand:

1. Chess
2. Clinton supporters
3. CDOT

Three Things On My Desk:

1. a Popeye figurine
2. a candle
3. a Travelocity roaming gnome

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:

1. blogging
2. listening to the rain
3. trying to decide how much medication to take for my back before bed

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

1. get healthy
2. skydive
3. visit Japan

Three Things I Can Do:

1. hum and whistle at the same time
2. find your keys
3. sing "silent night" in Polish

Three Things I Can’t Do:

1. play a musical instrument
2. play chess
3. play dead

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:

1. your instincts
2. my instincts
3. sirens (not the female kind)

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:

1. Enya
2. anyone who tries to tell you how awesome Enya is
3. the TV news as gospel

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:

1. boxing
2. restraint
3. to stop worrying and love the bomb

Three Favorite Foods:

1. steak
2. sushi
3. sourdough bread

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:

1. Sesame Street
2. Muppet Show
3. The Electric Company

Three Things I Regret:

1. Not becoming fluent in Spanish
2. Forgetting all the Japanese I learned
3. Not learning from my mistakes

A sentence of sorts

2008-04-24T19:13:00.001-05:00

Grab the nearest book. (Don’t you dare dig for that 'cool' or 'intellectual' book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.)
Open the book to page 123.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

"Boring, dahling," he replies.
[From The Men's Guide to the Women's Bathroom by Jo Barrett]

Baby's gone blue

2008-04-23T20:19:00.002-05:00

This story disgusts me. Kids having kids is such a stupid epidemic -- it's also an issue of environment and sex education. Of COURSE a 15 year old would rather party than being stuck at home watching their kid. That's why you DON'T HAVE KIDS TIL YOU'RE OLDER. I've got news for her: She's not going to be able to go to parties while she's in jail for drowning her baby, either. She should be sterilized as part of her sentencing, or at least put on court-enforced birth control like depo-provera shots or something.

And who the frak scratched/kicks/punches/spits on a police officer?!? Again, environment and education. You gots to be nice to the po-leece, or they won't let you go par-tay.

________________________________

www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-baby-drown-web-apr24,0,4262329.story

South Side mom drowned daughter so she could 'go to parties,' prosecutor says

Teen didn't want to be a mother, officials say

By Robert Mitchum and Dan P. Blake

Tribune reporters

2:39 PM CDT, April 23, 2008

A South Side teenage mother who authorities said no longer wanted a baby because she couldn't go to parties was held on $600,000 bond Wednesday on charges that she drowned her 5-month-old daughter in a bathtub earlier this month.

Rozlynn Rodgers, 19, was charged Tuesday with first-degree murder in the April 4 death of her daughter, Makalah, at their home in the 7800 block of South Ingleside Avenue. She later told authorities that she drowned the child because she no longer wanted to be a mother, officials said.

Rodgers told police "she didn't want to be a mom anymore because she couldn't go to parties if she had to take care of the baby," Assistant State's Atty. Mary Anna Planey said Wednesday during a bond hearing before Judge Laura Sullivan.

Planey said that Rodgers placed the baby in a full bathtub on the afternoon of April 4. When the child slid under the water, Rodgers sat and watched for several minutes, Planey said. Another person in the house called 911 after Rodgers removed Makalah from the bathtub.

The baby later was pronounced dead of cardiac arrest, and the medical examiner reported that her lungs were saturated with water, Planey said. Though the original autopsy by the Cook County medical examiner's office was inconclusive, the manner of death was later changed to homicide, police spokeswoman Laura Kubiak said Wednesday.

Rodgers also was charged with aggravated battery to a police officer after she attacked a police officer during her arrest, Kubiak said. While in custody Tuesday, Rodgers became disruptive and knocked over a table in an interview room, Planey said. Later, Rodgers scratched, punched, kicked and spat in the face of a detective, Planey said.

A public defender said Rodgers was a full-time student at Las Casas Occupational High School and planned to graduate in June. Her next court appearance will be on May 12.

The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services launched an investigation into allegations of death by neglect the day Makalah died, spokesman Kendall Marlowe said. He said the agency had no prior contact with the family and that there were no other children in the home.