Tuesday, February 26, 2008

When I get older

Had to repost this -- hopefully it won't get me sued. This is from Julie Deardorff's blog on the Chicago Tribune online, and I think she's spot on. I'd venture a guess that many/most viewers of Sunday's Oscar telecast did not know who Robert Boyle was (though we knew his films), and suspect that (like me) most people were blown away and inspired by his demeanor/composition/lucidity at 98 years of age.


Health tips from 98-year-old Robert Boyle
At 98, he's one happy accident

Legendary production designer Robert Boyle received an honorary Oscar last Sunday, but I still don't believe he's 98. Articulate, funny and more lucid than Cameron Diaz, Boyle seemed more like a recent retiree than a grandfather verging on centenarianism.
Impressed, I tracked him down at his home above the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, where he was nursing a sore left foot. He turned down the television so he could hear my first question: What's your secret?

A: "Actually, I'm not very fit. I have a torn Achilles tendon. [He slipped on the stairs of his home.] I wear a big boot now, but last night [at the Oscars] I didn't wear it and kind of paid for it. I never did do anything right for my health. I was in the sun too much, and I suffer from skin cancer, I drank too much and smoked too much.

Q: Do you still do any of these things?
A: Oh no. It would kill me.

Q: Did you use a Teleprompter for your speech?
A: My eyesight isn’t very good, so I didn't rely on it. I memorized what I was going to say, which I wrote. I really didn't think I did that well. I was surprised to hear people say they thought it was good. [I offer to e-mail him the You Tube link so he can watch it. He enthusiastically gives me his e-mail address.]

Q: What did you have for breakfast today?
A: A few three-minute eggs. I have no strict diet. I eat all kinds of food.

Q: Do you have any health issues?
A: I take a whole bunch of pills. At my age, everything is wrong; I have a bad ticker. I take so many pills I can't count them; that's the misery of my life. But my doctor loves it.

Q: Do you have any advice?
A: Life is full of accidents. By accident, you could be finished [with life] very early or very late. I've gone through a lot of problems, including being a soldier in World War II. It was just an accident I didn’t go under heavy, sharp objects. I'm interested [in life], that's it. I'm interested in politics and what’s happening and not happening in the world.

In case you missed him in action:


Monday, February 25, 2008

Just ask Don Cheadle...

Not as funny as Sarah's, but an A for effort (and star pull)...


It's time that you won

I cannot express how happy I am that "Falling Slowly" from ONCE won the Oscar for Best Song. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova were so genuine and inspirational in their speeches (mad props to Jon Stewart and the producers for allowing Marketa her moment), and it's such a charming movie and rags-to-riches story ($100K, hope, and a lot of charm can earn deserving musicians an Oscar). And I am thrilled that Glen played his same guitar -- well loved, well played, and genuine, like their music. So pleased that he didn't choose (or get forced by the producers) to play a more telegenic guitar.

Enjoy some inspiration, courtesy of YouTube:



That win, Diablo Cody's, and the genuineness with which Marion Cotillard accepted her Best Actress award made it all worthwhile.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

They should have given you the Oscar

**Half-assed live blogging of the Oscars**

Would love to know what Laura Linney whispered to Jennifer Garner after pulling her away from Gary Busey.

Loved the monologue joke about the presidential race -- yes, normally if there's a woman or black president, there is a meteor heading for the statue of liberty.

Javier Bardem is the hispanic Robert Downey Jr.

Tilda Swinton just amazed me with her actual personality. Glad she won, but the Dylan fan in me is a bit sad that Cate Blanchett did not.

Showing the Adapted Screenplay writers writing was amusing, esp. with (winners) Joel & Ethan Coen actively not writing.

Overall, Kristen Chenoweth bugs me. Gays and theatre geeks, attack now.

Helen Mirren looks amazing, as ever. How incredibly hot is she?!

Is it any wonder...?

Trying to find two bits of video, which I will post at a future date if they show up on You Tube: Gary Busey attacking Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney on the E! red carpet tonight, and the digital short from SNL last night where 'grandsons' Bill Hader and Andy Samberg are inserted into videos for their 'grandpa.' During the (unsuccessful) search, though, I found this gem:


Saturday, February 23, 2008

She's a big girl

Left my car lights on Thursday and ran down the battery. Still feel like a big dumb girl for it. Do guys feel stupid over shit like that? I suspect not. I just hate having to ask for car help, since I think it perpetuates the myth that women don't know jack about cars.

It brings on many changes

I am painfully obsessed with mash-ups these days -- have been for just over a year now, actually. What's not to love? Done right and tight, you get 2+ songs you love at once -- twice as much bang for your buck, right? It's like a musical bogo.

So here... enjoy some video mash-ups on me.











Friday, February 22, 2008

I just like knowin', Cynthia, you exist

Okay, I admit it: I want to see the SEX & THE CITY movie. In large part because of Cynthia Nixon. Because of her years of activism for public school reform in NYC? Perhaps. Because said activism led her into a lesbian relationship, the revelation of which Nixon deftly made seem natural and boring? Maybe. Her turn in LITTLE DARLINGS? Probably. But the real reason is that I'm in the middle of season five right now of SATC, my current late-night dvd decompression fix, and I am continually struck by how charming and genuine she is. Nixon/Miranda was the glue that held those women together. And, delightfully, one gets to watch her blossom over the course of the series -- even her look goes from the severe pseudo-dykey corporate Annie Hall look to something much softer, echoing her characters growth.

Plus she rocks some awesome velvet at her wedding.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

It's for the look, I don't light it

Are we allowed to go to Cuba now? What does all this Castro nonsense mean? I'd like a plate of ropa vieja and a cig-a-cigar, please.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I wanna... I wanna



I miss this commercial, and this soda. Shasta Diet Grapefruit kicked Squirts ass.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I know what I want and I know how to get it

Best. Article. Ever. That's how you speak to people like me -- put everything in punk rock terms. Speaking of which, have you heard about Punk Rock Yoga?

Monday, February 18, 2008

Baby it's a wild world

THIS is why you should microchip your pets...

www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/sns-ap-cat-travels,0,2714958.story

Cat Flees Fire, Ends Up 240 Miles Away

By Associated Press

4:53 PM CST, February 18, 2008

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M.

A cat that fled a house fire is back home in Albuquerque, N.M., after turning up some 240 miles away. The black and white cat named Miko disappeared in December, on the night of the fire.


About two weeks ago, Miko's owner got a call from an animal shelter in Pueblo, Colo., saying her cat was safe.

Officials at the shelter speculate that the cat, trying to keep warm, hopped a tractor-trailer and rode it to Colorado.

When they found her, her collar was missing. But shelter officials scanned the microchip in her neck and came up with her owner's name.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Give me some chili sauce

Had lunch today at Big Bowl... is it wrong to wish I could roll around naked in a big vat of their spicy peanut noodles? And by 'wrong' I mean more than just your/my (valid) concerns that the spicy sauce would get into, um, areas.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Love's funny that way


I voted for him, proudly, but this is still damn funny. RNC valentines, who knew?

Friday, February 15, 2008

We're adrift in the land of the brave

Always knew I liked Evan Handler. Loved him on SITC and as Hurley's imaginary friend on LOST, as well as on the much-underappreciated STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP. But today I discovered his writings on the Huffington Post blogs. Makes me want to go out and get his books.

This post in particular echoes my own sentiments re: ethnicity vs nationality. Specifically: I am American. My mother is American, as was my father. My grandmothers and grandfathers on both sides were American. I am not sure about my paternal great-grandparents, but I do know that one of my maternal great-grandfathers was born outside the US -- I think most all of the rest were born in the US. So I am at least third generation American.

My ethnic heritage is another story. I'm what they used to call 'Heinz 57' -- 57 varieties. You name it, I've got one in my lineage somewhere, especially if it's a boring white European culture. I do not run around telling people I am Spanish, or Irish, or even Irish-American. Those terms refer to nationality, not ethnicity.

IMHO, if you are born in the US to parents also born in the US, you are an American. If you are born in the US to, say, Italian citizens, you can (if you so desire) call yourself Italian-American. More appropriately, though, I would reserve that designation for someone with dual citizenship. But none of the people in these examples are Italian. Italians are Italian. Evan Handler's wife is Italian. These are all matters of Nationality (with a capital N).

By contrast, Whoopi Goldberg says she's "black" and "American" but not "African-American" -- I may horribly misquote her, but I recall her quote being something along the lines of "I am not from Africa, I have not ever been to Africa, I am black." Avery Brooks raised his kids to be "brown" and is devoted to "the brown cultural expression." I feel safe saying Avery thinks he's an American too. "Black" and even Avery's "brown" are cultural/ethnic terms, not nationalities -- they refer to how one identifies culturally.

Problem is, we don't have enough colors defining other cultural backgrounds. "White" is boring, but so are most whites -- I think it applies well to people (like myself) of varying European ethnicities that don't really celebrate any of their cultural heritage beyond wearing a little green and getting drunk on St Patty's. But so far we only have white, black and brown -- that's only a drop in the cultural bucket. We need to start divvying up the other colors!
This would also give us a chance to "take back" colors that have been maligned for ethnic (yellow, red) or political (red, blue, pink) reasons. And if we manage to assign everyone a color, then wouldn't we all be 'colored'? Couldn't we all then just get along?

Oh, and everyone go buy a bidet.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

How about some information, please

Read this scary article yesterday about how anti-cholesterol 'statin' drugs cause cognitive disturbances in women, then noted again last night that Paula Abdul seems remarkably sober/lucid so far on American Idol this season. Coincidence? Paula, I just gave you your new alibi -- enjoy. Send me a check.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I'm so sick of you

Am I the only one that hates Katherine Heigl? And, by the transitive property of mathematics, am I therefore the only one that is glad that her new haircut makes her look like Jessica Simpson by way of a Texas billionaire's wife by way Ellen Burstyn? (Thanks to the Fug Girls for the latter connection)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A long, long time ago

This is a great article in the LA Times about the 25th Anniversary of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album. My favorite tidbit? The song "Thriller" was originally titled "Starlight." That's just wrong.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Enough to fill our lives with love

Just finished watching a behind-the-scenes episode of TLC's "Jon & Kate plus Eight" -- made me like the show AND the Gosselins much better. There was a priceless scene where Kate was interrogating the three year olds, trying to determine from where a furniture knob she found had been removed. Having an argument of logic with three year olds seems insane to me, but surprisingly Kate made it work.

I know she gets made out to be a bitch, and I admit that the show is sometimes unwatchable to me because I can't stand to listen to her yell at everyone, including her husband. But ultimately it's the mom that winds up with most children should there be any sort of separation. Jon could take a powder if he wanted, but Kate's stuck (unless she starts indulging in too much 'purple drank' and shaves her head and loses custody). She's a brave woman. Braver than I. I'd be scared shitless my husband would leave me. Of course that would also make me be a helluva lot nicer to him (says the woman that's not chasing eight kids around).

Plus, she endured the most enormo belly I've ever seen when she was carrying the sextuplets -- I am surprised she did not literally pop. In looking for a picture of her at her biggest, I stumbled across their personal website... only to discover that they're all christ-y.

I take it all back.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Hey, ho, way to go

Seems there was a worldwide Scientology protest scheduled for today, but the Chicago protest was canceled because the guy with the permit never showed. LMAO.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

If I could just see you tonight

Am I the only one that will totally watch WHITE CHICKS when it's on TV? Would never own it, but will definitely pass some time with it. In large part because of this:
It's worth the whole movie for that scene. LOVE me some Terry Crews. Am watching him right now play Cheeseburger Eddy in the surprisingly entertaining Longest Yard remake. Of course it doesn't hurt that it also features the delightful William Fichtner, Tracy Morgan as a prison bitch, and the always fantastic James "Stretch Cunningham" Cromwell. IMDB it, bitches, if you're too young to know.

Friday, February 08, 2008

I tell you that I'm hungry, then won't you feed my face?

Restaurants as obesity cops doesn't sit well

Nutrition experts are burning up calories in expressing their outrage over proposed legislation in Mississippi that would prohibit restaurants from serving obese customers.

They say the proposed bill, still in committee, is "ridiculous," "insane" and a wrong-headed approach to solving the national obesity epidemic.

State Rep. John Read, a Republican who is one of the bill's three authors, says he wasn't trying to offend anybody and never even expected the plan to become law.

"I was trying to shed a little light on the No. 1 problem in Mississippi," he says. The state has the highest obesity rate in the USA.

Steve Holland, the Democratic chairman of the House Public Health and Human Services Committee, said in a statement he will "pocket veto" the bill. "It's dead on arrival at my desk."

Although he appreciates the "efforts of my fellow House members to help curb the obesity problem in Mississippi, this is totally the wrong approach."

About one-third of Americans are obese (30 or more pounds over a healthy weight), and 66% are overweight or obese. Even so, obesity experts are outraged by the bill.

"It would be hard to concoct something more ridiculous," says Kelly Brownell, director of Yale University's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity.

"This brings bias against obese individuals to a new and appalling level, and at a time when significant progress is being made in the effort to stop blaming obesity on the people who have it and to address the social and political conditions that drive it.

"Are these legislators fighting to get rid of soft drinks in schools? Are they working to stop the relentless marketing of unhealthy foods to children? Are they doing anything about the fact that poor people do not have access to healthy foods?"

Timothy Church, director of preventive medicine research at Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, says the idea for the proposed law is "insane. I don't even know how to react to something so bizarre. This is five steps backward. This is not how you address the problem on so many levels.

"And what about civil rights? It's totally unenforceable, and you'd be alienating people. Most people who are obese don't want to be that way."

Morgan Downey, executive director of the Obesity Society, an organization of weight-loss researchers and professionals, calls the proposed law "the most ill-conceived plan to address a public health crisis ever proposed."

Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, says the bill sponsors "should be ashamed of themselves. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be for an overweight high school student to go to a restaurant with a few slimmer friends and not be allowed to buy certain foods?"

Food industry spokesmen agree.

J. Justin Wilson of the Center for Consumer Freedom, a group financed by the restaurant and food industry, said in a statement: "This is the latest example of food cops run amok. Are waiters supposed to carry scales around the restaurant and weigh every customer? Give me a break. What's next? Will waitresses soon be expected to make sure we eat all our veggies?"

Contributing: The Associated Press

Thursday, February 07, 2008

The future is scary

Can anyone say "Matrix"???

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

You better you bet

Last night on the el...

PA ANNOUNCEMENT: "...prohibits soliciting or gambling on a CTA train..."

MALE PASSENGER BEHIND ME: "Aw man, I wanted to solicit!"

ME: "I'll bet you ten bucks that you won't."

Tough room -- took him about 10 seconds to get it.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Just remember we're on drugs

Is it wrong for me to be giddy with excitement that my doc just refilled my Vicodin prescription?

Stuck in the middle

Natural selection at its finest.

Someone's in the kitchen

Recipematcher.com -- another miracle of modern technology. This is what I needed all those years when I was single and had only a can of tomato sauce, orange marmalade, and garlic powder in my stores.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Oriental Setting

Since I used the Hedwig reference in yesterday's post title...


There's a ton of Korean Hedwig videos on You Tube... tried to get a Korean translation of Hedwig lyrics for the title, but all I could get is Hangungmal. Funnily enough, though, the following words/phrases do not have Hangungmal equivalents:

sideways grimace
Hamill
Farrah Fawcett
frizz
Aretha
misfits
molasses
waterpik
ermine
montage
grenade
unscrewin'
warps

Sunday, February 03, 2008

If you've got some sugar for me

One of my favorite books ever. Seven stories that I absolutely adore -- Henry Sugar and Lucky Break were my top two for years, the latter of which I even used for an oral interp in Jr High. Geared toward a slightly older (though still child) audience, it has some very painful stuff in it (The Swan in particular), but definitely holds up years later. Worth seeking out.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

On a towel by the door

Friday, February 01, 2008

Just like somebody on TV

Part of me really wants to be on a reality program, mainly because of the deus ex machina properties they possess. Ugliest House on the Block redoes your landscaping, painting, etc. What Not To Wear gives you $5K in new clothes, plus new hair/makeup. Oprah's Big Give offers a chance to have your cake and eat it too. Amazing Race enables you to see the world, and possibly win $500K in the process. Clean Sweep will go through your house, get rid of your shit, and organize what you're allowed to keep. Biggest Loser is the best weight loss program going, witha chance to also win some kiznash on top of it.

I of course fear looking like an asshole in front of America. A fat lazy asshole at that. It's like the people that clean house before the cleaning lady comes -- I feel like I'd need some self-improvement before the self-improvement.

That and I HATE Carmindy.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Riding on the Metro-o-o

I so want to do this... Apparently this piece of magic occurred a few days ago on the London Underground:


Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Sleeping with the television on

Part of the bittersweet joy of being laid up is watching a lot of TV. Or in my case, sleeping to a lot of TV. I have become extremely adept at this -- a skill honed on airplanes. Plug in my headphones, select a film on my iPod that I don't need to see to "watch" (like CLUE), and fall asleep to the comforting sounds. Better than a white noise machine.

Problem is, you can (even in this day and age) run out of things to watch. There's several things I want to see now available on iTunes movie rentals, but many of them are films that both Gus and I want to see, so I don't want to spoil the fun by watching them first. I just sent back all my Blockbuster dvds. And I watched all of the films in my collection that are appropriate -- after all, when you're sick and want the freedom to drift off to guilt-free sleep, you don't want anything too dramatic, or suspenseful, or even subtitled. You want easy and engaging.

Hulu.com oddly has a few movies available, most of which I've either seen or don't want to see. It does, however, have SIDEWAYS, and since I am one of the few artsy-fartsy film lovers that never saw this gem, I figured it was my big chance. Took two watchings (drifted off in the middle of the double date dinner), but enjoyed it quite a bit. And then, in my desperation, I pulled AMERICAN SPLENDOR out of my personal dvd collection, figuring I'd go for a Paul Giamatti double feature.

To clarify: I won my copy of this DVD in 2004, and it's sat in my collection since. Not sure why I did not watch it before now -- there were always other things I wanted to watch more, or it seemed like not the right movie for the moment. I'm a dumb ass. This movie is amazing -- the construct of it alone is fantastic.
The casting is so perfect -- even Hope Davis, whom I love to be annoyed by, was 100% the right choice. And although I saw Judah Friedlander's name in the opening credits, it took all the way til the special features to figure out who he played -- who knew he was so good of an actor?!

The special features also gave me a glimpse of Roger Ebert. Not sure if he's had his latest surgery yet, but I hope it successfully restores his voice. I had the privilege of seeing one of his special screenings as part of the Chicago International Film Festival a couple of years ago, and then again this past October saw his appearance at the tribute to him at the opening night of the film fest (KITE RUNNER). Amazing to see two such different Eberts. And I have taken since to reading his reviews in the Friday paper. Such a brilliant man -- we (and certainly he) are fortunate that he is able to continue sharing his brilliance with us in the written word, regardless of the outcome, but again, my thoughts are with him.

Now, let me finish my dinner (take out), so I can sleep to How To Look Good Naked. That Carson Kressley -- who knew he wasn't just a gay minstrel, but rather is the feel-good hit of the winter?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Had a love affair but it was only paper

Touché.

Monday, January 28, 2008

It's pointless staying up for even twenty seconds more

First day back at work. Sucked. Body not happy to be up that much. 24 voicemail messages. And my left ear is my phone ear. But I still have my sense of humor! Nertz. Back in blessed bed now. Would that I could convince people it's a political protest of some sort.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Lying awake intent at tuning in on you

Several bloggers are doing the Hulu.com thing, and i jumped on the bandwagon -- lemme tell you, it saved my ASS with this injury of mine. Five days of being stuck flat on your back SUCKS, don't let anyone tell you different. Being able to tune in to Hulu and watch tv on the bedroom monitor? PRICELESS.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Friday, January 25, 2008

Just for one day

Hulu.com is awesome, but it keeps removing episodes I want to see!! What gives?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I can smell the chemicals

JustSayHi - Science Quiz

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The waitin' is the hardest part

Sitting in my Dr office waiting room, for a work-you-in appt. I want to scream or cry. At least if I were waiting at home I'd be laying down and have an ice pack on my neck. Here I have nothing but waiting. Every time I breathe it stabs with pain. I can deal with a lot, but in moments like these, if it were "cake or death" I'd take death. Makes me wish life were like a soap opera - this is when I'd go into a coma and wake up as a different actress.


Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

You know that you are Cold as ice

So today I went back to work, but when the sun started streaming in my window, the combination of that and the pain in my head/neck made me want to throw up. I am not one to normally be prone to nausea, so although I'm not one of those weirdos that will do ANYTHING to keep from throwing up, I am still a bit alarmed when I feel like vomiting and there's not a good reason (or quantity of food/booze) to explain it.

To compensate, I opened the window, letting a little 21-degree air in -- that plus a little ice water helped stave off the nausea, but it made my office SO COLD that I could only keep the window open for a short while. Then close it and get nauseated again, then open it and freeze, etc and so forth. Hey, you don't think this continually-changing temp thing could be making me sick in any way, do you?

People kept coming in asking "Aren't you cold?" and "Why is it freezing in here?" -- each time, I had to explain why, and really did not want to. Something about saying the words makes it real. No likey. Finally at about 3pm I could not stand it anymore and left. I should have frankly left prior to that, but did not want to look like a slacker. [Yes, I am this dumb]

The cab ride home was touch and go. Every bump and shimmy in the road went right through my skull. I had to start long hard breaths to keep from vomiting or passing out. I came upstairs and fell into bed -- luckily the house was cold, so I felt better (if not well) fairly rapidly.

Am getting worried that I'm going to have to go to the hospital for this thing, given that this is day three. How many days does one go on with something like this before you need a shot of something?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Cuts like a knife

...the pain in my neck, that is. And SPEAKING of pains in the neck, about my husband. [Insert rimshot here]

No, actually, not only am I incredibly grateful for Gus, and not only was he very sweet for my birthday weekend, doting on me and whatnot, but he's the kind of guy you can buy knives. That is, he's the kind of guy you can buy knives and not worry that some day he's going to chase you around the house with them. Which doesn't seem like something you'd have to be worried about, but...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Why didn't you tell me, Jenny?

PRO: Awesome free massage at my local spa on my birthday, by awesome masseuse Jenny. Very pleasant, a little new agey but in a non-threatening way, and did an excellent job on me.

CON: My head/neck now hurts like a motherfucker. Left side, base of skull, occipital nerve-y. Need drugs. Have any drugs? Send me drugs.*

* Dear FCC or whomever: If it is illegal to say things like "Send me drugs" online, then please just chalk this all up to some funny blog humor. No one reads this anyway, much less has the mode, power, or inclination to send me drugs. If it'd make you feel better, I can post a picture of me in my "Just Say No" tee shirt. Assuming I can get it on because of my pain pain PAIN.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

In my dark cupboard with my great big cake

One of my favorite '80s tunes...



And, for good measure...

Friday, January 18, 2008

You don't know what I got

Today it was cab #5249. I was immediately struck by how clean the cab was, and the lack of center divider. I got in, gave my destination, and away we went.

"So, you're off on Monday?"

This is the kind of random cab driver question that creeps me out. I never know whether to tell the truth ("yes") or to lie ("no, they're expecting me back in an hour, so don't try to dismember me and bury my corpse in a shallow grave out by the forest preserve"). In this case I weighed his race (indeterminate Asian*), his demeanor (pleasant, genuine) and his radio selection (Esquivel on the true oldies station) against any potential danger, and opted for the truth.

"No one will be downtown on Monday... no one needs cab."

Okay, now we're getting into another potential weird area: Discussing his potential lack of business. When cabbies launch into lines of conversation such as this and/or issues of personal hardship, I can never tell if this is innocuous small talk, or if this is a ploy to garner a bigger tip. I usually close off at this point, and this was no exception. My hamartia? When not able to choose well, choosing inertia.

Digression: In the "Passengers Bill of Rights" lies the statement There is no extra charge to pay by credit card or for assistance with your baggage. "Kindly asian driver, would you assist me? I have daddy issues, trust issues, low self esteem**, and did I mention my hamartia?"

Eventually, Esquivel gave way to "Little Deuce Coupe" and the conversation sprung up again: This time about the weather (five degrees is COLD), and local cable/internet/phone providers (RCN rules). As we pull up to by building, I pay the man (exact change, tipping him well) and thank him.

"Have a good day! Don't forget about Hillary! Vote... woman..."
I don't hear the rest (I try not to listen) as I pile out of the cab. The presumption pissed me off, and I stomped up my front steps muttering "I'm not voting for Hillary! Not unless I have to."

Cab #5249, ladies and gentlemen.

* I apologize for not knowing what his exact ethnicity was. Not only did I never see him full-face, but I am admittedly bad with knowing the differing facial characteristics of most Asian cultures. Besides, my bigger point here was that most serial killers are white males, not Asian. So suck it.

** While working at a mental health center, I spotted on an intake form "I hope to gain some self of steam." Best. Ever.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Gimme a slice with everything on it


Mama WANT.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Beauty's only skin deep

Dear Sephora clerk:

Perhaps if you stopped chatting on the phone long enough to properly serve me, I would have been more pleased with my shopping experience. Not that you asked.

Miss you!
~ K

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The little marks that use their influence

One of my current pet peeves is misplaced apostrophes -- drives me nuts. It's most upsetting when I see that I've done it myself, but I was born in the '70s for X sake, and I'm allowed to boof it every once in a while. Gimme a break, Nell Carter -- I'll be 38 in a few days. However, when people older and wiser than I repeatedly misuse apostrophes, I want to smack them.
Notes:

1) Apostrophes are not used to pluralize words. It's not DJ's, gym's, the 70's, or Little Shop of Horror's. It's DJs, gyms, the '70s, and Little Shop of Horrors. It should only be used for pluralization on plural nouns: children's books, women's shoes, people's court.

2) Apostrophes show posession: Mother's milk, Jessie's Girl, and The Emperor's New Clothes. In example #1, the misplaced apostrophes imply that someone named Horror owns a Little Shop. THE EXCEPTION: Possessive pronouns. I-T-apostrophe-S does not mean "belonging to it" but rather "it is." Why? Because...

3) Apostrophes are used for contractions and omitted letters. So far I have used I've, I'll, I'm and It's. Don't you, won't you, can't you, aren't you? Shouldn't the gov't care who you'll vote for?

I don't know why this bugs me so much lately, but it does. By contrast, others are bugged by improper use of quotation marks. Sounds like we needed The Electric Company to record a follow-up single...

Monday, January 14, 2008

The rhythm is gonna get you


...if not, these giant paws sure will.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Very good deal in America

I hereby nominate Rita Moreno for President of the United States. I am not sure if Ms Moreno wants the job, but she's IMHO a better candidate for First Female President than Hillary Clinton. Sure, Hillary would be the first female, the first spouse of a former president, blah blah blah, but is that reason enough to vote her in? I would love, as a woman and a Democrat, to be able to say that She's The One. But I don't think she is. I think she would do a fine job, but I think Obama would be better. I do not think setting records is the right reason to vote a candidate into office -- if it is, then again I duly nominate Rita Moreno.

10 unique reasons to vote for Rita Moreno as the 44th POTUS:

1) Latina
2) Woman
3) Tony-winner
4) Oscar-winner
5) Grammy-winner
6) Emmy-winner
7) Winner of the Sarah Siddons award for her work in Chicago theatre
8) California Hall Of Fame recipient
9) Star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame
10) Jeff-award winner

Think she'd be too soft? How about this?









Think she'd be too hard? How about this?












Oh, and for her running mate I nominate Morgan "Easy Reader" Freeman.


This can't be worse than Bush.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Another first kiss

Never buy or hang this poster, unless you're a walking cliche of a 1990s college student. Set dressers, please do not use this poster any longer to represent dorm room art. Can we please, as a country, wait til 2012 to use this as poster art? It can be part of the next election. Instead of the New Deal, we'll call it the New Irony.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Come back another day

Is there a name or diagnosis for repeatedly not knowing what day of the week it is? Not losing time per se, but that weird "today felt like Thursday all day to me" thing. For me, today is Saturday. And in a few minutes, it technically will be.

Title is from today's lost classic, so beautiful... Thanks, Zach Braff...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Got no time for bad news in my new shoes

So there's an xmas from when I was like 10 or 11 that will go down in infamy as "The Very Garfield Xmas." I was, admittedly, amused by the comic strip -- it was not a page-turner or anything, I did not rip newspapers out of people's hands to see what Jon was up to today, but yeah, I read it. I think I owned a couple of the books. This, to my mom, equals me LOOOOOVING Garfield, and so that xmas I got Garfield books, Garfield bedsheets, Garfield books, Garfield mukluks... okay, I made that last one up, but the level of Garfieldification of that year's holiday festivities was out. of. control. It also taught me an important lesson: Don't ever casually mention "like" of any object or concept in front of my mother.

Over the years, this theory was proved out with various boyfriends (like the puppeteer that only got puppet-themed gifts) and with my own interests (such as my theatre degree, which finally resulted in a moratorium on all comedy & tragedy masks). Gus now has the cool side of my mother's myopia -- he likes to cook, so she buys him gadgets and expensive knives. I still get a well-intentioned hodge-podge of things that luckily have no recurring theme, other than perhaps the color black (always a safe clothing bet for me) or silver jewelry.

What amuses me is that now, in a mix of payback and stymification, I buy her exclusively dachshund-themed gifts. She loves dachshunds, so it's apt, but she also needs nothing, owns everything, and does not like candy or burn candles (candy and candles being my Safe Gifts for the person who has everything -- disposable items that won't add to the clutter). I draw the line at dachshund-flavored crap (tees with "I heart my weiner" on them, or doxie-shaped salt and pepper shakers), but she's definitely reached the point of trying to tell me "enough already." Problem is that she has not identified another acceptable replacement gift, so it's either more dachshunds or nada. And nada is not allowed.

Problem is, I am now developing my own fascination with them, since I am always on the lookout for doxie-themed gifts. Which has lead me to the Daily Dachshund website, and to the priceless treasure below. Word to the wise: wait for it.


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Blues wrapped around my head

Stuck with a loathesome cold since Sunday/Monday -- left sinus blocked, left ear blocked, sometimes also popping in my right ear. No real cough, nothing weird about my sinuses that lead me to believe that I have an infection as of yet, but it SUCKS. Especially when I have no energy, or when people talk to me and I can't hear them.

Have you ever been asked if you'd rather be blind or deaf? It's one of those "What if?" questions kids ask one another... I still don't know the answer to that question definitively. I suspect I'd rather be deaf, but I've had experiences with (mercifully) temporary hearing loss, and it was immensely frustrating. As much as I love to read and watch movies, I have to think sight would be the bigger loss for me, but my love of music would be the toughest part of deafness. I also have to think that loss of hearing would still leave you more able in the world than loss of sight.

Guess maybe I should have stuck with ASL classes when I took them, in case this cold takes a turn for the worse. Am suspecting that being able to finger-spell and sign the colors blue and green will be insufficient.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Test strip proof sheet love

Messing with the layout of the blog... not 100% happy with it yet, but will keep working on it. Oh, and Kat Von Dee is not pregnant -- she was just keeeeding.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Too Much Unexplained

Most. Brilliant. Thing. EVER.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

My selfish heart just wants you home










The sweet little stray we took in this past August died this morning. Having four cats already (!!?!), I suggested we call her "Bonus." I miss her so much already. She was tiny and old and sick, but we loved her and took good care of her, and made sure that the last few months of her life were happy ones. RIP, sweet girl.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Dirt, Dirt, Dirty Martini

...with blue cheese stuffed olives, please. The more the merrier. Actually, best was the time I was poured a very dirty Belvedere martini with four blue cheese stuffed olives, and handed a plate on the side with two more skewers-ful of blue cheese stuffed olives. Having said that, I am nonetheless very grateful for the three Grey Goose dirty martinis I had tonight, with three large hand-stuffed olives each... Yum!

Friday, January 04, 2008

Music Is My Favorite Mistress

Is it my imagingation, or is commercial music getting better? Music in commercials, that is. I'd like to think that it's a by-product of people with hipper tastes getting old/powerful enough to hold key positions at major ad firms. Versus it just being that I am getting old, and that they're selecting music for said spots to appeal to my demographic, whatever it may be.

To be clear, I'm not talking about things like the crap-ass re-recording of Three Dog Night's "Joy To The World" (Glade), or even the inescapable Pantene onslaught of Natasha Bedinfield's "Unwritten." I find the latter particularly sad, since "These Words" has actually been a favorite of mine since
before the US release of same.

Some recent tunes that clicked with me (more so than the product they're pimping):


1) PAS/CAL: "Wake Up Wake Up Wake Up" (Payless Shoes)

Pas/Cal hails from Detroit ("Day-TWAH"), and has a wonderful poppy Beach-Boys-for-today's-America sort of sound that I'm digging on. Eff the shoes they're trying to sell. As what's been referred to as "indie-pop's least prolific
band" they're allowed to have sold out twice (2002 for Saturn) in just three EPs when they sound as good as this. Looks like they have their frosh LP slated for Feb 2008 on the Le Grand Magistery label, titled I Was Raised on Matthew, Mark, Luke & Laura. Delightful. I'll buy it, just like I iTuned all three EPs after hearing them on the Payless spots. Whoever made that deal happen for you, boys (and lady), it's working.



2) LANDON PIGG: "Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop" (A Diamond Is Forever)

Firstly, what's not to love about a mug like that and a name like 'landon pigg' on a boy whose mom still cuts his hair?!? Ridiculous. This song is so delightfully plaintive that I had to pick it up -- it's finally available as a single. Album pending, allegedly. Looks like RCA is is label -- not bad. Diamonds, schmiamonds.



3) DEVO: "Watch Us Work It" (Dell)

Yes I know this is the cover for 1980's Freedom Of Choice LP, but not only is it one of my favorite albums ever, but the band is historically underrated. Check out their wikipedia entry if you disbelieve. Frontman Mark Mothersbaugh is also a god, having composed music for most (all?) of Wes Anderson's films, being a minister for the Church of the SubGenius, and having selected A Face In The Crowd as one of his films when acting as guest programmer on Turner Classic Movies. "Watch Us Work It" capitalizes on the current '80s nostalgia, while proving that DEVO still rocks, even today. Bought the single; own an HP.


Honorable mentions (songs that swept me up, but risk becoming "you know, that one song from that _____ commercial?"):

CSS: "Music is my Hot Hot Sex" (iPhone)
Sara Bareilles: "Love Song" (Rhapsody)
Feist: "1234" (iPod)
Flaming Lips: "The W.A.N.D" (Dell)



Thursday, January 03, 2008

Il tostapane ha un bel vestito



If it makes you feel any better, I am also watching this right now...

There's Something Dangerous I Like

A friend of mine recently posted in her blog that she has the interests of an 11 year old girl, despite being 35. I feel her pain. Not all the time, mind you, but right now more than usual...

Yeah. I'm rocking Felicity season one right now. Slightly embarrassed about it, but rocking it nonetheless. Season one aired in 1998-1999, and is so far holding up surprisingly well. Ian Gomez' Javier is still surprisingly endearing and humane for being a gay stereotype, Ben is still hot but dumb, Noel is still geek-hot, and perennial JJ Abrams fixture Greg Grunberg is still delightfully misguided. And, personal note to Keri Russell: I liked the season 2 short hair. I mean now you've found someone to give you a good blowout, so you're working that look, but the shortie breakup cut was cute, and fit Ms Porter's character arc.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little with that last bit.

This cover box cracks me up, though. Noel seems to be looking into Felicity's right ear with a sense of quiet strength. Ben seems pleasant but distant -- I'm choosing to imagine he's thinking about how awesome his hair turned out that day. And the mini-Felicity up left is sneaking up on the group, perhaps to mug them. It is New York after all.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Ain't it a fwiggin' shame...

...it's the second day of the year, and I'm already exhausted. Bwah. 2008, you cruel mistress.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

This Door Swings Both Ways

Happy New Year... I'm hot! Or a bisexual activist...



Actually, since my last post was about "fish tacos" maybe I should have played the 'child star' card instead...

Friday, September 21, 2007

Eat Them Up... Yum!



Do this. Do this now.

For years, I have been evangelizing the Fish Taco . The reaction, historically, has been similar to me telling people I honeymooned in Savannah, GA -- if you've never experienced it, you can't understand why it would possibly be a good idea. Fish TACOS?!? FISH tacos?!?


Trust me: INCREDIBLY good idea. Outside of Baja California and San Diego, the proper fish taco is a rarity. "Proper" may be an odd word choice for what started out as street food, but there are many "improper" fish tacos between here and there. I had a fish taco in Washington State that was... terrifying. Terrifying to the point I still don't understand why you would offer it on the menu. It was so bad a fish taco as to not be worth being called a fish taco... and it was a crappy version of whatever it was actually trying to be. Grrr!

Real fish tacos are light and fresh, use shredded green cabbage instead of lettuce, and are best with cilantro, the white sauce (mystery) they make for such things, and a little salsa verde. Oh, and a quick squeeze of lime. Email me, and we'll track down some of the local renditions, and I can weigh in on their authenticity.


Sunday, July 08, 2007

I'm Bruised But Not Broken

Went to an acupuncturist for the first time today -- fun! A little scary -- laughingly, though, I am more scared in these situations because I think I should be than because I actually am. Rationally I know that acupuncture is an ancient science, and dates back to the stone age, so I don't sweat it -- emotionally, I know that a goodly number of people (friends and family included) would be terrified by this and would never dream of having this done, so I get scared on their behalf. Osmotic fear? Borrowing trouble? Peer pressure? You decide.

It was relatively painless (proverbially and practically). First she asked me a variety of questions, not only about my reasons for seeking treatment (back/shoulder/neck pain and headaches) but about my general health (quality of sleep, breathing, and yes... bowel movements). We then moved on to the actual process. While I did have to unbutton my shorts and my tshirt was pulled up to my chest, I lay otherwise fully clothed, face-up on a massage table. After cleansing the target areas, she inserted a total of about 11-13 single-use needles all over my body. I had about 3 in each foot (top of foot), one in my lower abdomen, two just beneath my bra-line, one in my cleavage, one on either side of the base of my skull (behind the ears), and one or two in each wrist.

The needles are so fine (not hollow), many of them I did not even feel go in. Some I did, and only one hurt going in. Once they were all in, though, I really could not feel them -- I could feel something, mind you, and there's something odd psychologically about knowing you should not move because NEEDLES are in you, but otherwise it was a cake walk. I was left alone for a total of 15 minutes -- of the music options given me, I selected a massage tape (innocuous new-agey instrumental stuff), and did Lympatic Breathing* while I lay there. It was very relaxing overall, and I did get some almost instant headache relief.

Excitingly, my maladies also warranted some Cuppping. Not of my balls, which I sweated off** at work last night, but rather the Traditional Chinese Medicinal practice of Fire Cupping. I think a lot of the WES (White English-Speaking) world had not ever heard of cupping until Gywneth showed up about three years ago with a backful of hickeys -- I know I am guilty as charged. But it's a skosh older than that -- maybe not stone age, but I think 2500 years of history gives it a little creedence.

To the left, you can see four of the locations of the cups. At the top-right of that image is the bottom of the 6th spot (more clearly seen in the image on below).
Since I am an amazingly easy bruiser, I felt fairly confident that I'd be marked up at least this badly, if not worse. I kind of think I got off easy. :)
So, next Saturday I go back. More needles, maybe even in my face this time, and a conversation about herbal treatments. Right now, being me, I am so gung-ho on this -- any time I find something that works for me, I want that career. Pilates, chiropractic, massage therapy -- all of them made me feel awesome, so I began immediately fantasizing about a career in those fields. Now of course I am researching acupuncture after one visit -- sound at all like a girl in search of some meaning and direction? Yeah, I thought not. :)

* Okay, at the risk of sounding like a new-age nutcake, Lymphatic Breathing is done (as per Tony Robbins) by inhaling for one count of ____ seconds, holding your breath for four counts of _____, and exhaling for two counts of _____. Fill in the blank with whatever number you feel comfortable maintaining for ten reps, thrice daily. It helps cleanse the toxins out of your body. Or some shit like that.


** Yesterday was hot as hell at work, bringing to mind the charming colloquialism "Sweating my balls off." As I explained to my husband, since I do not have balls, it must be true -- I must have sweated them off. My husband... well, let's say he did not like that concept, and asked me to stop talking about my balls, non-existent or otherwise. I tell this story in part because it tickled me, and in part to help mitigate some of the new-ageyness of this post. You're welcome.

Monday, April 30, 2007

And You Can Be My Sheik

Gus, being attended to by his harem.

Or, in a less Oedipal caption: My mother, my husband, Me and my aunt Maria.

Hilarious. More wedding pix to come!

Posted by Picasa

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Making Friends With the Ketchup and Salt

So, a few quick links for the foodies...

Grub Hub is a quick (and best of all FREE) way to order online and centrally from a bunch of local restaurants. You can also sort by cuisine, who's delivering now, etc.

Ghetto Gourmet is a traveling dinner party and underground dining experience. Sign up for their mailing list -- when they come to your town, you order a ticket online (they show you the menu up front). They'll email you a few days before with the exact location, and you show up with a floor cushion and a bottle of whatever. Am doing this on the 4th, so will report in after.

Yelp is also a neat place to get reviews of local places -- it hasn't yet become too commercial, with corporate posts and whatnot.


Enjoy!

Wasting Our Time on Cheap Talk and Wine

I must highly endorse this... so much fun!

Gus and I were lucky enough to do the March one -- a nice treat/date night out in the middle of all the wedding craziness. It's a total steal at $35 per person -- a five course meal, with wine pairings for each, and they are not stingy about refilling your glass.

Let me know if you want to go!!!

Slow and Low, That Is the Tempo

Did I mention I was a suck-ass blogger? Yeah... no posts since January?!? Okay, so fine, I got all married and shit -- like THAT'S a good excuse? :)