You Shook Me All Night, Long(a Long-Fellow Serenade)

This weekend, I saw Accepted -- that movie about the kids that invent a college, perhaps you've seen the previews? Turned out to be a much better, smarter film than one would have suspected. The benefits of walking into a movie theatre with low expectations, I guess. Plainly put, I loved this movie. Plus, it features a fun punky band -- in a nice, quiet way, like when the Plimsouls were in Valley Girl, or actually more like when The Yardbirds were featured in Blow Up. Yeah, I just referenced an Antonioni film... smell me. Anywho, the band's called The Ringers, and they have a new album coming out, which I'm buying on basic principle. Give them a listen -- you should love them, or at least be a little amazed that I love such chaotic music. Yeah, I'm an enigma.

Accepted features the uber-charming Justin Long, who has this Borg-like likeability (resistance is futile), and whom I've loved in everything I've seen him in. Look at that mug: How cute is he? I even loved him in the otherwise-not-as-funny-as-we'd-hoped Dodgeball, so there you have it. He's also attached to the upcoming Die Hard 4 pic (aka Live Free and Die Hard), and lord knows I love me a Die Hard movie. And a Bruce Willis movie. Heck, if we get Samuel L in this one too, it's like a trifecta for me.

I know now that I'm going to have to go back & watch dreck like Galaxy Quest, and even rent Herbie: Fully Loaded just to get my Justin Long fix. [Sidebar: From time to time I get a random fixation, and have to watch as much as possible from a particular oeuvre. Since I've frequented the same Blockbuster since 1998, I know the staff's tastes and admit to more than a passing embarassment when I bring crap up to the counter. Case in point? When I rented everything Freddie Prinze Jr had made to date, in a misguided attempt to figure out why he gets work. I still don't know why. Is America still trying to make it all better that his daddy died? Yeah, I said it.]

My favorite movie of Mr Long's to-date had been Jeepers Creepers. Perhaps you've seen it at the video store? Just rent it. Don't ask, JUST RENT IT. Again, a much better movie than it let on it was. They had me from "hello" -- more appropriately, they had me from the opening shot. The long, slow shot of the winding road. It gives you that instant sensation of something not quite being right... an otherwise serene shot that you just know is lying to you. And, my friend, it is. So rent it, already!

Me? I'm going to go buy some hobo-stab insurance. :)

Besos a todos, K

You Fondle My Trigger, Then You Blame My Gun

Okay, so to Yes-And my own post about the dirty, dirty whores demographic and bizarrely targeted marketing, I submit the following piece of amorality as evidence:

WHAT. THE. FRESH. HELL?!?

"My hair's limper than my boyfriend after a few drinks"?!? (and yes I know that last bit of punctuation is wrong, but we have a MORAL APOCALYPSE on our hands, people!!! Suck it up!) Why are we degrading our whiskey-dicked mates in the name of HAIRCARE?!? Isn't this the kind of talk we save for after we've broken up with the guy? You know, where you swear you're not going to trash him to your friends because you're "better than that," but one night, after a few too many Belvedere dirty martinis with the blue cheese stuffed olives, you break down and whisper to your friend, "You know, he never could keep it up when he had a couple of beers in him."

Why, in the name of all that is bouncin' and behavin' are we stooping to this?!? What's next, America? A campaign for Champion stating: "Because I want a tube sock that doesn't sag as much as my girlfriend's tits." ?!? (Again... APOCALYPSE) "Secret (TM): So your pits don't smell like your husband's balls."?!? What the fuck?!

Wash Your Face, You Dirty Whore

So I was at Fizz a week or so ago, and went to the ladies room. Apparently Noxzema has a new campaign for their Wet Cleansing Cloths product line, and are using the in-bathroom advertising like Zoom Media or some such to market to dirty, dirty whores. The tagline? "Wherever you wake up, look like you just didn't."

WHAT THE HELL?!?

Now I'm hoping someone down at Procter & Gamble owns a copy of Warriner's English Grammar and Composition, so I will not get into the awkward sentence structure of said campaign. But a campaign targeting women's restrooms in bars, leading with "Wherever you wake up..." amazes me. Wherever I wake up? Why not just cut to the chase and make the campaign "Wash your face, you dirty whore!" since that's what you're implying. You evil P&G whoremongers, you want me to buy these cloths, which need no water to use, and keep them in my wee bar-hopping purselet, so I can use them to cleanse myself no matter which ho-bag flophouse I arise in? Fuck balls.