The handbag memoirs

I admit it. I've been obsessed lately with handbags and makeup. Girly girly girl girl. Probably because I feel like I'm dressing like a frump these days -- spend some kiznash, slap a little lipstick on that pig, and away we go!

I have been on the inevitable quest for the perfect handbag, and as ever, falling slightly short. I need a bag that's work appropriate but sassy, dressy enough but casual enough, big enough to carry all my crap but not oppressively heavy, a decent number of pockets without being an organizer bag, able to be carried on an everyday basis. Basically, I want the handbag that Goldilocks carried.

I am not good about switching out bags to go with my outfit. It is just not a priority for me, and when I do engage in this behaviour I always manage to leave something crucial behind in the other bag. I am also married to a man who can be rather spontaneous, so leaving things behind (such as gift certs and coupons and loyalty cards) in order to carry a smaller bag will, like Murphy's Law, immediately trigger a sudden and irrepressible need in BHE to go to whatever store or restaurant for which I am not currently carrying the paraphernalia. Not being one that likes to be caught with my metaphorical pants down (or, frankly, my literal pants), this means carrying everything with me at all times.

Then there's the makeup. BHE has an aversion to me wearing lipstick or lipgloss, since he hates kissing goopy lips (can you blame him?), yet I have not less than six lip preparations in my handbag right now. I also have a full compliment of makeup in my handbag and in my desk drawer at work, in case of a necessary touch up -- 99.44% of the time I never use any of it, but there it still is. Also, if ever I was to be on TLC's What Not To Wear and had to bring that succubus Carmindy all my makeup... well, it would probably require me using a small carry-on suitcase. Think I need to do a little purging?

While I have hung onto this stuff for borderline-logical reasons ("But what if I ever need frosty blue eye shadow?!"), I am thisclose to throwing 90% of it out. But the problem is, having all this crap has saved my bacon on more than one occasion. When dyed my hair brown, it completely changed what colors of makeup I could get away with -- I just pulled out my stash, tried a bunch of things, and hid the colors (like MAC 'Twig' lipstick) that now made me look like death. So having the stash has come in really handy for me over the years, but makeup a) does not last forever, and b) has been reformulated enough over the years that the frosty blue shadow I have tucked away would not really be becoming now. Sure, I used to be an actress, and there was an argument to be made that I could use it for shows, but I have not done a fully-mounted play in eleven years, so it's time to let go.

And this is part of the logic that I use on myself as I order goodies via Sephora and whatnot. Need it! Got to have it! Free shipping! Let's face it... I need help. And a makeover.

I leave you now, so that I might browse Sephora.com again. Free samples with purchase!