I've been waiting so long

"Rock & roll don't come from your brain, it comes from your crotch."

Ain't no big surprise

...that I am giddy with excitement that this week is Neil Diamond Week on AI. Delightful. I only hope that these dear dear contestants don't eff up what I consider to be one of my biggest guilty pleasures: The magic that is Neil Diamond. I am guessing Cook will rock it just fine, but the others make me nervous -- I am not sure they have enough Neil in them.

And speaking of Neil, I am currently rewatching the equally delightful Freaks and Geeks on DVD, and just watched this episode:








Okay, that's Bill (aka Jamie Sommers) and not Neil, but the segue still counts, damn it.

A thousand kisses deep

via washingtonpost.com

 

Lip Balms and Glosses May Boost Skin Cancer Risks

Saturday, April 26, 2008; 12:00 AM

SATURDAY, April 26 (HealthDay News) -- Shiny lip balms and glosses may attract ultraviolet rays and increase the risk of skin cancer, warns a dermatologist at Baylor University Medical Center at Dallas.

Dr. Christine Brown noted that protecting your lips from harmful sun rays is as important as using sunscreen to protect your skin. But a recent study found that less than 25 percent of Americans use some form of lip protection.

Lips are more susceptible than skin to aging from chronic sun damage and also more prone to developing serious cancers.

"When skin cancer occurs on the lower lip, it has the potential to be much more aggressive and metastasize to surrounding lymph nodes," Brown said in a prepared statement.

Shiny balms and glosses don't offer protection. Instead, they attract the sun's rays to the lips.

"What most people don't realize is they're actually increasing light penetration through the lip surface by applying something clear and shiny to them," Brown said.

Women should only wear glossy lipsticks in the sun when they have a layer of sun protection on underneath, dermatologists advise.

Anyone who's planning on being outdoors for more than 20 minutes at a time should use a lip sun block with an SPF of 30. Women should apply it in the morning under any lipsticks or lip glosses and then reapply the sun block throughout the day.

People should check their lips for signs of cancer. Consult a dermatologist if you notice any changes to the color of the lip surface (an area turns opaque or white), or if you have persistent peeling or flaking of a spot on your lip, Brown said.

More information

The U.S. National Cancer Institute has more about lip and oral cancer.

SOURCE: Baylor Health Care System, news release, April 2008

Bela Lugosi's dead

You Could Be a Vampire... If You Had To

Like most people, the thought of being a vampire has crossed your mind. But you're not sure if you'd do it, even if you could. Living forever doesn't sound half bad, if you could live forever with the people you love the most. But do vampires even love? And would the vampire version of you even be you? It's all too much to contemplate. Luckily, the chances of you ever becoming a vampire are astronomically low. What you would like best about being a vampire: Living forever What you would like least about being a vampire: Blood stained teeth

Could You Be a Vampire?

Feet up, pat 'em on the po-po

Talk about full service -- how effing disturbing is this?!?

______________________

www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-podiatrist-sex-assault-web-apr22,0,7284088.story

Olympia Fields podiatrist found guilty of sex assault

By Robert Mitchum

Tribune reporter

11:39 AM CDT, April 21, 2008

South suburban podiatrist Anthony Overton was found guilty Monday of two counts of aggravated criminal sexual assault by Circuit Judge Michael P. Toomin following a bench trial.

He will receive at least 12 years in prison and possibly as many as 60.

Overton, 64, of Olympia Fields was on trial in Cook County Criminal Court for allegedly fondling an elderly woman and giving her a vaginal and rectal examination.

Prosecutors had argued that Overton was not acting within reasonable medical standards when he administered breast and vaginal exams on a patient seeking treatment for foot pain. The woman, who was 75 at the time, had sought treatment for a sprained ankle in 2006.

Overton explained that he frequently gave full-body physicals to patients to diagnose other problems that might affect their feet. He said it sometimes is necessary to conduct breast, vaginal and rectal exams to check for other ailments.

Three little words

Three Things That Scare Me:

1. dying alone
2. random violence
3. Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:

1. BHE
2. BHE (he's a Gemini)
3. Patton Oswalt

Three Things I Love:

1. TV on DVD -- love to power through seasons at a time
2. Freerice.com
3. my felines

Three Things I Hate/Severely Dislike:

1. tomatoes
2. being lied to
3. the unexamined life

Three Things I Don’t Understand:

1. Chess
2. Clinton supporters
3. CDOT

Three Things On My Desk:

1. a Popeye figurine
2. a candle
3. a Travelocity roaming gnome

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:

1. blogging
2. listening to the rain
3. trying to decide how much medication to take for my back before bed

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

1. get healthy
2. skydive
3. visit Japan

Three Things I Can Do:

1. hum and whistle at the same time
2. find your keys
3. sing "silent night" in Polish


Three Things I Can’t Do:

1. play a musical instrument
2. play chess
3. play dead

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:

1. your instincts
2. my instincts
3. sirens (not the female kind)

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:

1. Enya
2. anyone who tries to tell you how awesome Enya is
3. the TV news as gospel

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:

1. boxing
2. restraint
3. to stop worrying and love the bomb

Three Favorite Foods:

1. steak
2. sushi
3. sourdough bread

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:

1. Sesame Street
2. Muppet Show
3. The Electric Company

Three Things I Regret:

1. Not becoming fluent in Spanish
2. Forgetting all the Japanese I learned
3. Not learning from my mistakes

A sentence of sorts

Grab the nearest book. (Don’t you dare dig for that 'cool' or 'intellectual' book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.)
Open the book to page 123.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

"Boring, dahling," he replies.
[From The Men's Guide to the Women's Bathroom by Jo Barrett]

Baby's gone blue

This story disgusts me. Kids having kids is such a stupid epidemic -- it's also an issue of environment and sex education. Of COURSE a 15 year old would rather party than being stuck at home watching their kid. That's why you DON'T HAVE KIDS TIL YOU'RE OLDER. I've got news for her: She's not going to be able to go to parties while she's in jail for drowning her baby, either. She should be sterilized as part of her sentencing, or at least put on court-enforced birth control like depo-provera shots or something.

And who the frak scratched/kicks/punches/spits on a police officer?!? Again, environment and education. You gots to be nice to the po-leece, or they won't let you go par-tay.

________________________________

www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-baby-drown-web-apr24,0,4262329.story

South Side mom drowned daughter so she could 'go to parties,' prosecutor says

Teen didn't want to be a mother, officials say

By Robert Mitchum and Dan P. Blake

Tribune reporters

2:39 PM CDT, April 23, 2008

A South Side teenage mother who authorities said no longer wanted a baby because she couldn't go to parties was held on $600,000 bond Wednesday on charges that she drowned her 5-month-old daughter in a bathtub earlier this month.

Rozlynn Rodgers, 19, was charged Tuesday with first-degree murder in the April 4 death of her daughter, Makalah, at their home in the 7800 block of South Ingleside Avenue. She later told authorities that she drowned the child because she no longer wanted to be a mother, officials said.

Rodgers told police "she didn't want to be a mom anymore because she couldn't go to parties if she had to take care of the baby," Assistant State's Atty. Mary Anna Planey said Wednesday during a bond hearing before Judge Laura Sullivan.

Planey said that Rodgers placed the baby in a full bathtub on the afternoon of April 4. When the child slid under the water, Rodgers sat and watched for several minutes, Planey said. Another person in the house called 911 after Rodgers removed Makalah from the bathtub.

The baby later was pronounced dead of cardiac arrest, and the medical examiner reported that her lungs were saturated with water, Planey said. Though the original autopsy by the Cook County medical examiner's office was inconclusive, the manner of death was later changed to homicide, police spokeswoman Laura Kubiak said Wednesday.

Rodgers also was charged with aggravated battery to a police officer after she attacked a police officer during her arrest, Kubiak said. While in custody Tuesday, Rodgers became disruptive and knocked over a table in an interview room, Planey said. Later, Rodgers scratched, punched, kicked and spat in the face of a detective, Planey said.

A public defender said Rodgers was a full-time student at Las Casas Occupational High School and planned to graduate in June. Her next court appearance will be on May 12.

The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services launched an investigation into allegations of death by neglect the day Makalah died, spokesman Kendall Marlowe said. He said the agency had no prior contact with the family and that there were no other children in the home.

I'm not the doctor

Spent the day running from doctor's office to doctor's office. Good news is that I don't have sleep apnea. Bad news is that I need a scope done to check my esophagus. Good news is that I got a facet block shot in my back. Bad news is that I got a facet block shot in my back.

Spice up your life

You Are Basil

You are quite popular and loved by most people. You have a mild temperament, but your style is definitely distinctive. You are sweet, attractive, and you often smell good.

What Spice Are You?

Ask me, ask me, ask me...

Explain what ended your last relationship? He was emotionally distant, I was on the rebound from a bad relationship, and we moved in together too fast. Oh, and I put on 50 lbs.

When was the last time you shaved? Thursday night, in the shower.

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Sleeping.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Sorting through papers and watching The Stand on the Sci-Fi channel.

Are you any good at math? Yes.

Your prom night? Non-existent -- was between boyfriends, and did not want to just go for the sake of going. So I blew it off.

Do you have any famous ancestors? Not that I am aware of.

Have you had to take a loan out for school? Nope -- not yet! If I go back for a Masters I probably will.

Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? There is no song on my myspace profile -- they bug me by kicking in loudly and automatically.

Last thing received in the mail? Self Magazine.

How many different beverages have you had today? Just one: Coke Zero. But I had 3 of them, does that count? Oh, wait, I also had a sip of BHE's cabernet sauvignon grape juice.

Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine? Always.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Oingo Boingo -- saw the Temps and the Tops in Vegas as a kid, and Vicki Carr at an amusement park, but my first real concert-y concert was Boingo, on the "Dead Man's Party" tour.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No, I'm not 12.

What was the most painful dental procedure you have had? Having teeth pulled as the novocaine was wearing off.

What is out your back door? I'll avoid the temptation to make an ass joke here, and say "my porch"

Any plans for Friday night? Not currently.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? Yes, for a while. Then I'm just sandy and annoyed.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? We did when I was a kid -- people would send them to my mom. Now my mom sends me Popcorn Factory tins periodically for Valentine's Day or Halloween

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Many times, in multiple cities.

Do you re-use towels after you shower? Yes... many times. In multiple cities. Not at planetariums, though.

Some things you are excited about? Yes, it is true: Some things I am excited about.

What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Probably strawberry? Dunno. So long as it does not have fruit or anything suspended in it, I'm a happy girl.

Describe your keychain(s) I have three, pretty utilitarian, that hook together into one. One's work, one's home, and one's car.

Where do you keep your change? In my pocket or in the car.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open, baby -- the door's always open.

Daft Punk is playing at my house, my house

You Are Punk Music

You've thought long and hard about what mainstream society has to offer... And you've pretty much decided that most normal things aren't for you. You're creative, expressive, and likely to do things yourself. You are a rebel and a fighter. You'll defend your point of view to anyone.

What Kind of Music Are You?

There was a time when dead and buried meant just that

www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/sns-ap-not-dead,0,6334243.story

Man Declared Dead Feels 'Pretty Good'

By Associated Press

12:19 PM CDT, March 25, 2008

OKLAHOMA CITY

Four months after he was declared brain dead and doctors were about to remove his organs for transplant, Zach Dunlap says he feels "pretty good."

Dunlap was pronounced dead Nov. 19 at United Regional Healthcare System in Wichita Falls, Texas, after he was injured in an all-terrain vehicle accident. His family approved having his organs harvested.

As family members were paying their last respects, he moved his foot and hand. He reacted to a pocketknife scraped across his foot and to pressure applied under a fingernail. After 48 days in the hospital, he was allowed to return home, where he continues to work on his recovery.

On Monday, he and his family were in New York, appearing on NBC's "Today."

"I feel pretty good. but it's just hard ... just ain't got the patience," Dunlap told NBC.

Dunlap, 21, of Frederick, said he has no recollection of the crash.

"I remember a little bit that was about an hour before the accident happened. But then about six hours before that, I remember," he said.

Dunlap said one thing he does remember is hearing the doctors pronounce him dead.

"I'm glad I couldn't get up and do what I wanted to do," he said.

Asked if he would have wanted to get up and shake them and say he's alive, Dunlap responded: "Probably would have been a broken window that went out."

His father, Doug, said he saw the results of the brain scan.

"There was no activity at all, no blood flow at all."

Zach's mother, Pam, said that when she discovered he was still alive, "That was the most miraculous feeling."

"We had gone, like I said, from the lowest possible emotion that a parent could feel to the top of the mountains again," she said.

She said her son is doing "amazingly well," but still has problems with his memory as his brain heals from the traumatic injury.

"It may take a year or more ... before he completely recovers," she said. "But that's OK. It doesn't matter how long it takes. We're just all so thankful and blessed that we have him here."

Dunlap now has the pocketknife that was scraped across his foot, causing the first reaction.

"Just makes me thankful, makes me thankful that they didn't give up," he said. "Only the good die young, so I didn't go."

Chicago seemed tired last night

Highlights of today:

• I know "TGIF" is so cliche, but I'm so effing exhausted (back, mind) that I am damn glad to be off til Monday.
• Horchata
• Drifting off to sleep after this morning's earthquake, only to dream of rain and cats.

Easy, easy, easy meat

Okay, so don't tell my husband, but yesterday at a lunch meeting, I had Bill Kurtis grass fed filet mignon. So good. $33 worth of sooooo good.

Highlights of the day:

• Again: filet mignon lunch
• ...with coconut sorbet for dessert
• ...on a warm, sunny 70-degree day.
  

All flowers in time bend towards the sun

I am a Sunflower What Flower Are You?

"When your friends think smile, they think of you. There is not a day that goes by that you can't find something good about the world and your fellow human."

I'd lose a kilo each hour

What a great finale to Biggest Loser: Couples tonight! I am so thrilled that Bernie won, and that Ali is the first female Biggest Loser. Everyone looked AMAZING.

Is it wrong that I watched it while eating pasta and Reece's Peanut Butter Cups? How about if I clarified that I ate them separately, not together? Still wrong?

Gotta clear outta town

I heard about this first story on the radio, driving in to work this morning. In looking it up, I found two more amazing stories based out of the Orlando area today:

• A man attempts to sell fake crack to elderly nursing home residents -- the "crack" turns out to be balled-up pieces of bread.
• A father is arrested for severely beating his 15 year old daughter after she finally asks him (at 430am) if he would keep the noise down so she can sleep.
  
• A giant inflatable walk-thru "super colon" teaches exhibit-goers about colo-rectal cancer.

I think I'm living in the wrong place.

I feel your taste all the time we're apart

Just had our first anniversary dinner... at Fogo de Chao. I know, I know -- first anniversary is paper, not beef. Does the paper bag in which I'm going to vomit up my Brobdignagian meal count?

Worst comes to worst

Am watching The Grudge 2 right now. It is, if possible, worse than The Grudge. But yet I can't look away. Oy! Makes me wish Howard the Duck was on right now -- this may well give it a run for Worst Movie I've Sat Through. The things you do when you decide to spring for expanded cable and can now watch all the Encore channels.

All my tubes and wires

Bedtime for bonzos. Am loaded for bear, wired to the gills. Literally. Am in a room at the Radisson, having a charming little sleep study. I have so many wires on me, I can barely move -- it's kind of hilarious. Will report back.

All day long I'm sitting

Tomorrow I get to be in the office all day, sitting on my ass at my desk. After two days of tradeshow booth standing and smiling, I am happy. Tomorrow night, my sleep study. But for now, today's highlights:

• Woke up feeling spry and not at all sore from yesterday's booth standing -- made me happy that I am definitely still improving.
• Unexpectedly got to have dinner with my husband tonight.
• Our car has been tuned up and the burnt-out passenger side lowbeam replaced, so we're street-legal again. Wanna drag? :)

I've done no harm, I keep to myself

Isn't this an OSHA requirement, mandatory in the workplace? If not, it should be...




(thanks, CuteOverload)

You better leave my kitten all alone

So we almost had another fifth cat last night: Our 1st floor neighbors knocked on our door because they found a cat outside at the outer front door (!!!) with a collar but no tag (!!!) and thought it might be ours. I guess when they opened the door and let her in, she ran right to the 2nd floor apt door and started scratching and mewing to be let in, so everyone figured out pretty quickly that she belonged there. Being the soft touches that we are, and having demonstrated skill at taking in strays in the past, we offered to lodge her til the 2nd floor neighbors got home.

Of course after doing this, it occurs to us: What if this cat isn't theirs? About the point that I start really sweating that concept (Rhonda Byrne would be displeased with me), the phone rings. It's one of the girls from downstairs -- she thinks it may be her roommate's cat, so we have her come up to get it. Of course the cat, who does not want to be here, does not want to be 'gotten' either, and won't come out for the girl. The alleged owner is at her boyfriend's, and won't be home til tomorrow morning at 8am. [side note: if you're a big enough girl to stay at your boyfriend's place, bring a change of clothes]

So it is agreed: We will keep the cat locked up in our spare room til tomorrow at 8am, and then the roomie will hopefully lay claim to her. The poor cat doesn't want to be petted, but doesn't want to be left alone -- she doesn't know if this is a temporary thing or a permanent thing, and she's not happy. She cries most of the night. I am torn between hoping the cat room is over the missing roomie's bedroom VS hoping that it's over the room of whichever one let her out.

When the call comes in this morning (we're up early so as not to be nekkid), I wait with baited breath. The cat, of course is hers -- apparently she had been an outside cat (!!!) until recently, and has been trying to make a break for it. Mystery solved, good deed done. Can I nap now?

Highlights of the day:

• Balance is restored to the cat room... Next?!
• Three words: Beefy. Cheesy. Melt.
• The two girls kicked ass tonight on Biggest Loser.

Okay, I know 2 & 3 are slightly contradictory, but suck it, America. With love, that is. Suck it with love.

With each day comes a new way of loving you

Via ChicagoTribune.com...

Workers win sexual harassment suit against McDonald's franchisee

The Associated Press

9:29 AM CDT, April 7, 2008

Four former McDonald's workers will be paid more than $505,000 to settle a sexual harassment lawsuit against the owners of the Durango franchise.

The female workers' then 24-year-old manager allegedly bit the girls' breasts, grabbed their buttocks and made numerous sexual comments beginning in 2003, when they were teenagers.

Terms of the settlement approved Thursday in federal court in Denver included letters of apology from franchise owner John Bronson. In an e-mailed statement to the Durango Herald, Bronson said he and his wife plan to move forward and that the matter was settled.

Two of the victims and their lawyer will split $450,000, while an additional $55,000 will be split by two other victims who were represented by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which filed the lawsuit.

"We're just happy that it's resolved and there will be appropriate relief for the victims of the harassment," said Loretta Medina, senior trial lawyer with the EEOC.

Lynn Sholler, the lawyer for two of the victims, said the girls did not pursue criminal charges against the manager because they feared they would have been re-victimized in the process.

Named as defendants were Colorado Hamburger Co., Farmington Hamburger Co., and Jobec Inc., the latter of which does business as McDonald's in Durango.
____

Amazing -- when I worked at Jack-In-The-Box as a teen, all I had to worry about was the gay assistant manager who sang "I Love You More Today Than Yesterday" and "La Isla Bonita" nonstop, often while coming up behind you and rubbing your shoulders and/or trying to get you to dance with him. William something. He was delightfully weird. And then there was the guy that kept asking me out that was *obsessed* with Don Johnson's "Heartbeat." But biting girls' breasts?!? A-maz-ing.

Sunday, sunday, I love sunday

Highlights of the day...

• Friends I have been thinking of have been thinking of me -- I got emails today from people I was thisclose to emailing myself.
• Thai beef salad... YUM!
  
• Took the world's longest nap today. Why? Because I could.
  

My mathematical mind

Roll with it, baby

Are you aware of Rick-Rolling? If not, consider this your public service announcement. Friends don't let friends get Rick Rolled.

I love little girls

At long last, the news re: my MRI: Turns out I have two discs (the bottom two) that are herniated, but only the L4/L5 is ruptured/torn. Looks like surgery is not warranted at this time (*whew!*), just some epidural cortisone shots (*gulp!*). I have an appt on the 16th with a back specialist at Northwestern -- going to keep that first, make sure he concurs. In the meantime, my PCP gave me more Flexaril and Vicodin. Again, is it wrong for me to be slightly giddy that she gave me a 60-count of the latter?

In other news, one of my bestest friends in the whole world gave birth this morning to her second female human, Quinn Estelle. Mama and bebe are both doing great. I love the name Quinn, but then again I am a secret stalker of The QC Report (linky at right). However, this still leaves my perennial suggestion of 'Rumpelstiltskin' as a baby name up for grabs. Maybe my other pregnant friend (my other MOH) will cave and use it.

Side note on Quinn: As we got closer (and past) her due date, it occurred to me that I could go visit my friend in the hospital, since it's so close to work. Then that made me realize that I didn't go when her first female was born. When that hit me, I thought to myself "I'm an asshole! I can't believe I could not have been bothered to visit her in the hospital when female #1 was born! I'm a major asshole." Then I remembered: I was in New Jersey, at the wedding of one of my now-husband's best friends from HS. So I let myself off the asshole-hook.

Highlights of the day:

• Managed to get breakfast in me, which I am discovering actually does make me feel better
  
• My income tax return hit my checking account (it's already spoken for, but nonetheless)
• Did I mention it's a 60-count of Vicodin?!?

Goodbye if you die

I think this is brilliant. I'm going to spend the rest of the night trying to figure out how I can utilize this in my daily life.

__________

Owner stakes his life on selling home in Wisconsin

By Pam Louwagie

Minneapolis Star Tribune

8:35 AM CDT, April 4, 2008

MINNEAPOLIS

Whoever buys Bob Fanning's house will hope he dies. And Fanning is fine with that.

Trying to separate his 5,600 square-foot western Wisconsin home from others in the real estate glut, Fanning, 69, has come up with an odd incentive: The buyer will be named beneficiary to a 10-year, $500,000 term life insurance policy. If Fanning dies in that time, the purchase price of the Whitehall, Wis., home — listed at $498,900 — is covered.

"He's an outside-the-box thinker, no question about it," said his Realtor, Wayne Peters.

Most younger sellers couldn't plausibly use such a sales tactic, Peters said, but when someone is 69 "the odds are getting to the point where people realize that there's a significant chance that they could collect."

Fanning, who said he has taken his share of risks as a businessman, said he thinks it's a great deal.

It would be voided if there are any shenanigans, though.

"The policy says he can't commit suicide, nor can they knock him off," Peters said. "The attorneys have provided for that."

But isn't Fanning afraid of any, er, "unfortunate accidents"?

"I had maybe a 10-second thought about that when we signed the policy," Fanning said. "I'm pretty low profile to begin with."

His wife, Janus, said she is supportive of his entrepreneurial thinking. "I'm always in awe of how he comes up with a different way of doing things," she said. "It's a perk for the house."

As for the odds: Fanning said he has no health problems, though he joked that he's "too short" for his weight. Both his parents died before age 79, as did a sister.

He said he'd be willing to disclose medical records to a buyer.

Without being specific, Fanning said he paid a hefty price for the insurance policy "because actuary tables show I might not reach 79, so I think it's a hell of an incentive to buy a home."

In Fanning's mind, it's not taboo to put a price on his head, as well as on his house.

"When you get to this age," he said, "death is something you have to start to deal with."

I'm gonna follow you...

I've been blog-stalking some folks lately -- you know, like you do. You stumble across their link on random message boards or whatnot, and end up reading all of their blog in 1-2 sittings. Problem is, after I do, I now know so much about them that it's a little weeeeeeeeird -- it's like being invisible, and spending 2-3 years shadowing someone on fast forward. And then, because you've read 2-3 years of their life in 1-2 days, they can't possibly post enough material fast enough for you, which creates this false urgency. Weird.

What's even weirder is when you totally connect with someone's writing, do the blog-stalking thing, and figure that the recommended blogs of their friends are going to be equally awesome. NOT always true. Sometimes the love just isn't there. I mean I'm not saying their friends write crap blogs per se, just not blogs that connect with me personally as a reader. Not every blog hits the spot.

But sometimes you find really awesome blogs out there, and find aspects of same that you totally want to steal. For me, as of today, that is Highlights of the Day: 3 or 4 things about today that were awesome or inspired gratitude.

• BHE unexpectedly picked me up at work and gave me a ride home...
  
• ...with a snack of proscuitto in-hand.
• I added (for another $15/mo) 40+ channels to our cable, so now we get IFC and Sundance and all kinds of cool shit. We watched the new version of Press Your Luck on the Game Show Network, and a Freddie Mercury doc on Logo. Good times.
  

But if there is no next time, where to go?

I am in SHOCK. Claaaaaaaiiire! Noooooo!

I got it bad, got it bad, got it bad...

Amazing. The worst we ever did was fake seizures (Ro, not me) and steal hall passes. And even that was in 8th grade, not 3rd. How the hell did they come up with this?!? It's only a matter of time before someone blames the TV, not the parents. Or before someone blames their disabilities (ie: all ADD kids are homicidal maniacs in the making).

Oh, and I love that it was a paperweight, not an anvil...

_________

Cops: 3rd-Graders Plotted Teacher Attack
By RUSS BYNUM, Associated Press Writer

7:52 AM CDT, April 2, 2008

WAYCROSS, Ga.

A group of children ages 8 to 10 apparently were mad at their teacher because she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair, authorities say.

That led the third-graders, as many as nine boys and girls, to plot an attack on the teacher at Center Elementary School in south Georgia.

Police Chief Tony Tanner said the students apparently planned to knock the teacher unconscious with a glass paperweight, bind her with handcuffs and duct tape and then stab her with a broken steak knife.

The scheme involved a division of roles, Tanner said. One child's job was to cover windows so no one could see outside, and another was supposed to clean up after the attack.

"We're not sure at this point in the investigation how many of the students actually knew the intent was to hurt the teacher," Tanner said.

School officials had alerted police Friday after a pupil tipped off a teacher that a girl had taken a weapon to school.

Tanner said the teacher told detectives the children weren't known as troublemakers.

"You can't dismiss it," Tanner said. "But because they are kids, they may have thought this was like a cartoon -- we do whatever and then she stands up and she's OK. That's a hard call."

The purported target teaches third-grade students with learning disabilities, including attention deficit disorder, delayed development and hyperactivity, friends and parents said.

Two of the students were arrested on juvenile charges Tuesday and a third arrest was expected. District Attorney Rick Currie said other students told investigators they didn't take the plot seriously or insisted they had decided not to participate.

"Some of the kids said, `We thought they were just kidding,'" Currie said. "Another child was supposed to bring a toy pistol, and he told a detective he didn't bring it because he thought he would get in trouble."

Currie said the children are too young to be charged as adults, and probably too young to be sentenced to a youth detention center.

"We did not hear anybody say they intended to kill her, but could they have accidentally killed her? Absolutely," Tanner said. "We feel like if they weren't interrupted, there would have been an attempt. Would they have been successful? We don't know."

Currie said he decided to seek juvenile charges against two girls, ages 9 and 10, who brought the knife and paperweight and an 8-year-old boy who brought tape. He said they face charges of conspiracy to commit aggravated assault, and both girls are being charged with taking weapons to school.

Nine children have been given discipline up to and including long-term suspension, said Theresa Martin, spokeswoman for the Ware County school system. She would not be more specific but said none of the children had been back to school since the case came to light.

School system policy says any student who brings "anything reasonably considered to be a weapon" is to be expelled for at least the remainder of the school year.

Pass the Dutchie

Dear John Caponera:

Hi. Me again. Still hate your commercials, only now it seems I'm not the only one. Dutchie Caray (Harry's widow) is gunning for you and your bosses at AT&T -- guess when his estate gave permission to use his likeness, they didn't think you were going to make him retarded.

Burn in hell!

Besos, K

He didn't give them any voice

Sad news today. As I mentioned in this post, Roger Ebert was to have surgery to (amongst other things) restore his voice. Alas, it did not. Apparently his surgery in Houston this January resulted in complications, and his speech was not restored (another surgery would be needed).

In a letter he wrote the Sun-Times, he said he would not be able to return to his TV show, "but I still have all my other abilities, including the love of viewing movies and writing about them."

But here's the part that got me: Although he's currently still free of the cancers that have plagued him over the past six years or so, he is not ready to even think about having more surgery at this time, and wrote "I should be content with the abundance I have."

We should all be so lucky.